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    Bank Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Cadet Sign

    When my brother was a cadet at the U.S. Air Force Academy, there was an overhead walkway…
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    Goober Hunters Flying

    Two Goober hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were…
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    Happy Anniversary

    The other day while driving home, after beng delayed at my office, I suddenly saw…
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    Flashlight Defense

    A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an…
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    You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When…

    You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…
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    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…
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    Battling Salons

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established…
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    Golf Beginner

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he…
  • cowboy tack

    Call Me Tex

    A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters,…
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    Church Dictionary

    From the church dictionary: AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.…
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    Einstein At A Party

    Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and…
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    49 Cards

    A friend of ours waited until the last minute to send Christmas cards. She knew she had…
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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…

Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:

Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:

You whine, you're fired.

CAREER-MINDED:

We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:

Management won't answer questions.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:

We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:

We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:

If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

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