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More Jokes

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    Talking Dog

    A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking…
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    Cow Help

    A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car…
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    Perley Moore Buys a Truck

    There was a farmer, Perley Moore, who had recently bought a truck and found that the…
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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
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    Hair Curlers

    My wife still uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. The other night she came into…
  • loveyou

    If You Love Something Variations

    THE ORIGINAL VERSION:If you love something,Set it free...If it comes back, it's yours;If…
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    Rare Bible

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away…
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    How To Please Your I.T. Department

    How To Please Your I.T. Department [A quick check list for those who need to make…
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    Baseball Doctor

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
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    Gated Community

    Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both…
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    Hitchhiker Problem

    John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker.As they rode along he…
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    Frugal - to save

    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her…
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    Why Don't I see You?

    A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was…
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    Dirty Hands in Class

    A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty.She stopped him…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…

Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:

Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:

You whine, you're fired.

CAREER-MINDED:

We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:

Management won't answer questions.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:

We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:

We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:

If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

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