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More Jokes

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    City Kids Camping

    Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had…
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    Shakespearean in Dallas

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    Men and Women

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    Collectable Receipts

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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the…
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    Fly Swatter

    A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly…
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    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

    ~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me…
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    Taking Down The Flag

    My husband was serving his last few years of military service on active duty with an Army…
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    Captain Discipline

    About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a…
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    Census Taker

    An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in…
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    Magnet Comeback

    My friend's husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores. One…
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    Find and Replace

    The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship…
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    Window Washer

    There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
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    When One Shows Up

    A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there.…

Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:

Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:

You whine, you're fired.

CAREER-MINDED:

We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:

Management won't answer questions.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:

We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:

We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:

If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

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