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More Jokes

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    Ten Minute Wait

    I called to make airline reservations and was put on hold. After several minutes of taped…
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    Preaching Assistant

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    Lost Bid

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    Boys In Hospital

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    You and Your Boss: The Subtle Differences

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    Strange Allergy

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    Corrections

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our…
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    Engaged Beauty

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    Foreign Encounter

    I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must…
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    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…
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    Toilet Brush

    My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his…
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    Rejection Rejection

    Have you ever had a resume rejected? Don't ever let it happen again. The next time that…
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    Anti-Burglar Signs

    The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few…
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    The Good Old Days

    Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…

Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:

Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:

You whine, you're fired.

CAREER-MINDED:

We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:

Management won't answer questions.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:

We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:

We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:

If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

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