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More Jokes

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    Diary

    Linda: "What's that you're reading?"Jill: "A diary."Linda: What's in it?Jill: "I can't…
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    Dollar Math

    "If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you…
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    Second Try

    The insurance salesman, trying to start up a conversation with another fella said, "Who…
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    Bad Sign

    A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the…
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    Progressive Motherhood

    Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here,…
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    Sharing by Example

    A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to…
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    Senior Citizen Discount

    "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my…
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    Lost

    Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along…
  • donut

    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
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    Window Savings

    A window salesman phoned a customer. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling…
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    40 Year Solution

    My parents have been married for almost 40 years. Whenever anyone asks my Dad how they've…
  • Picture of a hunter

    Pygmy Hunter

    A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing…
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    Kiss Good-bye

    "Dad," a teenaged girl says, running into her father's den, "I'd like to kiss you…
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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…
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    One Interest

    A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her…

Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:

Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:

You whine, you're fired.

CAREER-MINDED:

We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:

Management won't answer questions.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:

We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:

We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:

If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

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