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More Jokes

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    Strangest Recording

    I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.It said, "You…
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    Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

    Your favorite section of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today."The parts that have…
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    Civil War Re-enactment

    Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's…
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    County Employees

    A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, filled his tank, and took a break by his car…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Worm Stubborn

    Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill…
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    Horse Looking

    One day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse. Hoping to buy the animal, he…
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    Correction

    Frustrated at always being corrected by my hubby, I decided the next time it happened I…
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    Y to K Problem

    Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through…
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    Retirement At The Inn

    Why didn't somebody tell me?With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching…
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    Knowing About Radios

    One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, Calif., we were preparing for a…
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    End Nail Biting

    Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy…
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    Teaching Math

    Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging…
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    Reversal of Fortune

    Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you…
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    Holding A Job

    A young man was a very slow worker and subsequently found it difficult to hold down a…

Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:

Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:

You whine, you're fired.

CAREER-MINDED:

We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:

Management won't answer questions.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:

We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:

We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:

If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

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