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Kid Quotes

children3"Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."
- Donna Maria G, age 9

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you."
- Rob P, age 8

"If life gives you nothing but lemons, make up a better shopping list for it."
- Steven B, age 8

"Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God's Bill of Wrongs."
- Susie F., age 7

"Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense."
- Beau M., age 10

More Jokes

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    Silent Descent

    Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance. "Teddy," he…
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    Car Moving

    It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the…
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    Money Call

    A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and…
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    Four Little Words

    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Dog Quotes

    "Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." - Unknown "Whoever said you…
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    Gold Watch

    A boss to a retiree:"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold…
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    50th Anniversary

    At my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, I was looking through a photo album of their…
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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver.…
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    Tax Forms

    It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the…
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    Penguin Zoo

    Did you hear about the man that had a pet penguin? Soon after he got his penguin, he was…
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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Rice Preference

    The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of…
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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…