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More Jokes

  • car fast

    Crossing the Road

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    City Preacher

    Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn.…
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    Thoughts on Genealogy

    ~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my family history so I will…
  • football

    New Year's Football vs. Dinner

    As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was…
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    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    12 Reasons to be Thankful You Burned the Turkey

    1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.…
  • Poorly worded ad causes trouble.

    Sewing Machine Ad

    The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last…
  • hammer

    Helping Daddy

    One day a young boy ran crying to his mother and rubbing his behind. His mother said,…
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    Lab Mix

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A student wished to make…
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    Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing

    -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came…
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    B.O.O.K.

    Introducing the Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge software: B.O.O.K. BOOK is a revolutionary…
  • guard dog

    Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a…
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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
  • picture of roast meat

    Dinner Guests

    The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an…

The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children.  I have captured rhetorical comments from my children's discussions.  No Pulitzer Prize could ever hold a candle to the notes jotted in this little book in my kitchen.

* "I wonder if the tooth fairy is a boy or a girl."

* "Mom, what is it like being a grown up?  Do you like buying everything you want and giving the kids nothing."

* "Mom, what name did you have when you were a kid?"

* "I wish I had a birthday everyday."

* "If alcohol and cigarettes are bad for you then why did somebody invent them?"

* "Mom, are the friends you had as a kid still alive?"

* "The cat went to the vegetarian to be neutered." "What's neutered?"  "It means he'll come back a girl."

* "What is a pilgrim?" "That's the ones who don't know how to plant corn."

* "Who picked the very first king and queen there ever was?"

* "Mom, when you die, can I be a mom?"

* "I can't swallow anything in my neck because my clams are swollen."

* "Mom, is there only one man in the world for me?  How many are there?  About 30 in each country?"

* "Does God have a nose?"

* "Mom, you're the best mom I ever had."

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