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More Jokes

  • mom and child

    Please and Thank You

    While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She…
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    Dear Marty

    Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter.…
  • picture of a waitress

    Lingering Hug

    We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight…
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    I Think Not

    I do not think -- therefore I am not.Here is the illustration of this principle:One…
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    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
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    Flight Observation

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
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    Eating Worms

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
  • crayons

    Cry On for Crayons

    The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the…
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    The Gas Men

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
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    Famous Last Words

    * Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.* Step back a bit, I can't get you in the…
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    Maritime Museum

    Some midshipmen were tasked at the maritime museum to do the "dirty work" of restoring a…
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    PC Assets

    My husband refused to learn how to operate a PC. I tried to get him to realize how…
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    Someone Is Knocking

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All…
  • puddle road

    Deep Trouble

    A man driving his car down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle…

The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children.  I have captured rhetorical comments from my children's discussions.  No Pulitzer Prize could ever hold a candle to the notes jotted in this little book in my kitchen.

* "I wonder if the tooth fairy is a boy or a girl."

* "Mom, what is it like being a grown up?  Do you like buying everything you want and giving the kids nothing."

* "Mom, what name did you have when you were a kid?"

* "I wish I had a birthday everyday."

* "If alcohol and cigarettes are bad for you then why did somebody invent them?"

* "Mom, are the friends you had as a kid still alive?"

* "The cat went to the vegetarian to be neutered." "What's neutered?"  "It means he'll come back a girl."

* "What is a pilgrim?" "That's the ones who don't know how to plant corn."

* "Who picked the very first king and queen there ever was?"

* "Mom, when you die, can I be a mom?"

* "I can't swallow anything in my neck because my clams are swollen."

* "Mom, is there only one man in the world for me?  How many are there?  About 30 in each country?"

* "Does God have a nose?"

* "Mom, you're the best mom I ever had."

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