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    Oil on Fish

    Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.One…
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    More Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
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    Goober & Cell Phone

    A young man wanted to get his beautiful goober wife something nice for their first…
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    Big Date

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    Perfect Pet

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do…
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    Disappearing Dinosaurs

    Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable…
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    Little Bars of Soap

    Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff…
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    Employment Search

    My employment search preoccupied our family for months. One day my husband told our three…
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    What Time Is It?

    A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He…
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    Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

    1. Blaming your gas on me.... Not Funny 2. Yelling at me for barking. I am a dog you…
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    Yosemite Bears

    A married couple was vacationing in Yosemite. The wife expressed her concern about…
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    Quotes From 11 Year-Olds' Science Exams

    The following are all quotes from 11 year-olds' science exams:"Water is composed of two…
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    Little Encouragement

    The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly…
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    Ten for Sure

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    Captain Discipline

    About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a…

The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children.  I have captured rhetorical comments from my children's discussions.  No Pulitzer Prize could ever hold a candle to the notes jotted in this little book in my kitchen.

* "I wonder if the tooth fairy is a boy or a girl."

* "Mom, what is it like being a grown up?  Do you like buying everything you want and giving the kids nothing."

* "Mom, what name did you have when you were a kid?"

* "I wish I had a birthday everyday."

* "If alcohol and cigarettes are bad for you then why did somebody invent them?"

* "Mom, are the friends you had as a kid still alive?"

* "The cat went to the vegetarian to be neutered." "What's neutered?"  "It means he'll come back a girl."

* "What is a pilgrim?" "That's the ones who don't know how to plant corn."

* "Who picked the very first king and queen there ever was?"

* "Mom, when you die, can I be a mom?"

* "I can't swallow anything in my neck because my clams are swollen."

* "Mom, is there only one man in the world for me?  How many are there?  About 30 in each country?"

* "Does God have a nose?"

* "Mom, you're the best mom I ever had."

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