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Kids' Instructions for Life

Never trust a dog to watch your food.  Patrick, Age 10
When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.  Matthew, Age 12
Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching.  Andrew, Age 9
Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.  Rocky, Age 9
Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning.  Stephanie, Age 8
Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.  Rosemary, Age 7
Don't flush the toilet when you dad's in the shower.  Lamar, Age 10
Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes.  Carrol, Age 9
Never bug a pregnant mom.  Nicholas, Age 11
Don't ever be too full for dessert.  Kelly, Age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. Heather, Age 16
Never tell your mom her diet's not working.  Michael, Age 14
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.  Joel, Age 12
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.  Alyesha, Age 13
Never try to baptize a cat.  Laura, Age 13
Never spit when on a roller coaster.  Scott, Age 11
Never do pranks at a police station.  Sam, Age 10
Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving.  Rob, Age 10
Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do.  Hank, Age 12
Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand.  Molly, Age 11
Listen to your brain.  It has lots of information.  Chelsey, Age 7
Stay away from prunes.  Randy, Age 9
Never dare your little brother to paint the family car.  Phillip, Age 13
Forget the cake, go for the icing.  Cynthia, Age 8
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