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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!!…
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    Young Man's Disorder

    A young man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder.…
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    Home Early

    Little Dewey burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised, his mother…
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    Hans Olaffsen's Laundry

    Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants,…
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    Fruit Cake Top Ten

    Top Ten Uses for Fruit Cake10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.9. Use…
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    Bachelor's Cat

    A bachelor kept a cat for companionship, and loved his cat more than life itself. He was…
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    Rules for Choosing a Super Hero Name

    1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie…
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    Did You See That?

    Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, "Did you see that?" "No," Darryl…
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    Love Campaign

    The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite…
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    24 Pigs

    A young lawyer, just out of Law School, was pleading his first case in South Carolina. A…
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    General Motors Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    Strange Allergy

    Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the paediatrician. I was…
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    Another Virus Warning

    ***-- VIRUS WARNING --***Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
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    Reunion Pride

    My wife and I were at my high school reunion.As I looked around, I noticed the other men…
Never trust a dog to watch your food.  Patrick, Age 10
When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.  Matthew, Age 12
Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching.  Andrew, Age 9
Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.  Rocky, Age 9
Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning.  Stephanie, Age 8
Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.  Rosemary, Age 7
Don't flush the toilet when you dad's in the shower.  Lamar, Age 10
Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes.  Carrol, Age 9
Never bug a pregnant mom.  Nicholas, Age 11
Don't ever be too full for dessert.  Kelly, Age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. Heather, Age 16
Never tell your mom her diet's not working.  Michael, Age 14
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.  Joel, Age 12
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.  Alyesha, Age 13
Never try to baptize a cat.  Laura, Age 13
Never spit when on a roller coaster.  Scott, Age 11
Never do pranks at a police station.  Sam, Age 10
Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving.  Rob, Age 10
Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do.  Hank, Age 12
Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand.  Molly, Age 11
Listen to your brain.  It has lots of information.  Chelsey, Age 7
Stay away from prunes.  Randy, Age 9
Never dare your little brother to paint the family car.  Phillip, Age 13
Forget the cake, go for the icing.  Cynthia, Age 8
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