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More Jokes

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    Cow Philosophies

    Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: you have two…
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    Chess Playing Dog

    A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He…
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    The Night Shift

    A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the…
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    The End of Speeding?

    A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer…
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    Afraid To Cross

    Two men stand at a river which they are about to cross when they notice crocodiles…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    Work P-p-p-p-p-roblem

    A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and…
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    Camping with Holmes

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Taxing Cinderella

    The tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for…
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    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…
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    Gripe Comments

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines)…
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    Top Signs Your Company is Planning a Layoff

    *Top Signs Your Company is Planning a Layoff* 1. CEO frequently overheard mumbling,…
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    Speeding Hymns

    If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:at 45 mph.... "God Will Take…
  • children3

    Kid Quotes

    "Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."- Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh…

Dear Mr. President:

How much money does the president make? Could you please write and tell me because if it isn't enough money then I will become a dentist.

--Timothy U., age 7 Jamestown, NY

When will we have a woman president? I am ready.

--Brooke A, age 10 Peoria, IL

Do you have any friends in Congress? My mom says your only friend is the vice-president.

--Richard D., age 8 Greenwich, CT

Someday I hope there will be a woman president. But not my sister. She will drive everybody crazy----the Democrats and Republicans.

--A citizen, Lawrence K., age 8 Atlanta, GA

What is your favorite book? My mom said it is the Bible because you have to pray a lot.

--Kimberly W., age 8, Meriden, CT

Dear President Bush:

Can you help with the weather in Seattle? It rains too much. My mom said not even the president can do anything about the weather. I hope she is wrong. We need more sunshine in Seattle.

--Elizabeth P., age 8 Seattle WA

What does Congress do all day? My dad told me that Congress doesn't do anything but make trouble.

--Ralph N., Palm Beach, FL

What does the vice president do all day? I have asked a lot of grownups and nobody knows the answer.

--Shannon D., age 8 Bismarck, ND

I think you won the election because you were a better speaker even if a lot of people didn't know what you were talking about.

--Tracey O., age 10 Green Valley, AZ

My girlfriend Betsy and I would like to get married in the White House when we get married someday. We will be married in 20 years.

--Peter N., age 7 Bismarck, ND

Dear President Bush:

What size shoes do you wear? My grandfather died last month and he left a lot of shoes and my brother and I would like to send you and the vice-president a pair of shoes. Do you like brown shoes or black shoes? We will shine the shoes before we send them to you.

--Joey P., age 8 Erie, PA

On TV you didn't answer some questions because you said the answer was classified. Can I classify my answers? I got into trouble when I admitted I broke something I shouldn't have touched. If I could say the answer is classified, I wouldn't be in trouble.

--Martin J., age 9 Philadelphia, PA

Dear Mr. President:

My girlfriend Alyssa is a Republican and I am a Democrat. Someday we may get married. Can a Democrat marry a Republican and be happy? I am 12 and my girlfriend is 11. We would like your answer before we are 18.

--Ryan C., age 12 Philadelphia, PA

Someday if we have a woman president we will need more closets in the White House so the president will have room for all her clothes. My mom has three closets and my sister has two closets and my dad and my brother and I have to share closets.

--Michael P., age 8 San Diego, CA

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