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More Jokes

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    Cleaning Instructions

    I bought a great new toilet seat recently.On the label was a suggestion on how to clean…
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    The Magician and The Parrot

    A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different…
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    Tried and Trusted

    A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to…
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    Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Big Toe Tingle

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Officer Overboard

    On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do…
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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Time To Go

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Diary

    Linda: "What's that you're reading?"Jill: "A diary."Linda: What's in it?Jill: "I can't…
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    Name Problem

    It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the…
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    Goober Dieter

    A goober was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Time Off

    Two men working in a factory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said…
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    VIP Impression

    My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large manufacturing firm. One…
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    What Is That?

    A young man who left his home in Texas at an early age, finally purchased his own ranch…

Kids statements that are a little... off track:

* God bless America thru the night with a light from a bulb!

* Oh Susanna, Oh don't you cry for me, For I come from Alabama with a band-aid on my knee!

* Give us this day our deli bread! Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.

* We shall come to Joyce's, bringing in the cheese.

* Gladly, the consecrated, cross-eyed bear.

* He carrots for you.

* Yield Not to Penn Station.

* Dust Around the Throne.

* Praise God From whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures, HERE WE GO

* Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.

* While shepherds washed their socks by night

* He socked me and boxed me with His redeeming glove.

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