More Jokes

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    Nervous Preacher

    A new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous and about ten minutes…
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    Future Price of Roses

    The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to…
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    Ice Cream Flavors

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…
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    Golf Beginner

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Watch Your Step

    Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family…
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    Morning Pills

    This morning, before I had my first cup of coffee and chased the cob webs from my brain,…
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    Engine Failure

    Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,…
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    Top 10 Signs that you company is planning to lay you off.

    10. You frequently overhear the CEO mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-You"9. The guys from the…
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    Negotiated Rules of Golf Between AARP and USGA

    The AARP has negotiated with the USGA to modify the following rules of golf for…
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    Fly Bye

    A woman walked into her house to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.…
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    Popping Ears

    Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.…
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    Goobers In Ditch

    Two Goobers were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we…
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    How Do You Spell That

    Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send…
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    Now, Now Ellen

    A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As…

Kids statements that are a little... off track:

* God bless America thru the night with a light from a bulb!

* Oh Susanna, Oh don't you cry for me, For I come from Alabama with a band-aid on my knee!

* Give us this day our deli bread! Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.

* We shall come to Joyce's, bringing in the cheese.

* Gladly, the consecrated, cross-eyed bear.

* He carrots for you.

* Yield Not to Penn Station.

* Dust Around the Throne.

* Praise God From whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures, HERE WE GO

* Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.

* While shepherds washed their socks by night

* He socked me and boxed me with His redeeming glove.

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