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More Jokes

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    Signs That You May Be Canadian

    1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You understand the phrase, "Could…
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    Army Drab

    My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and…
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    Self Defense

    During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the…
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    Lawyer Choice

    There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came…
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    Grandma and Computer

    The computer's swallowed grandmaYes' honestly' its true.She pressed 'control' and…
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    Car Sale

    Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the…
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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
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    Removing The Dents

    A goober left his car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over he checked the car and…
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    Rich Guy

    One day a rich man drives pass a open field and he sees a guy standing there eating grass…
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    Karmel Recipe

    The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and…
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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Stolen Turkey

    Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I…
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    Politically Correct Statements

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Five Kinds of Fruit

    In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They…
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    Pygmy Hunter

    A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing…

Kids statements that are a little... off track:

* God bless America thru the night with a light from a bulb!

* Oh Susanna, Oh don't you cry for me, For I come from Alabama with a band-aid on my knee!

* Give us this day our deli bread! Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.

* We shall come to Joyce's, bringing in the cheese.

* Gladly, the consecrated, cross-eyed bear.

* He carrots for you.

* Yield Not to Penn Station.

* Dust Around the Throne.

* Praise God From whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures, HERE WE GO

* Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.

* While shepherds washed their socks by night

* He socked me and boxed me with His redeeming glove.

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