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More Jokes

  • fire station

    Fire Test

    Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire hall. Before each…
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    How Can Any Student Pass?

    It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365 days.…
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    Well Done

    John was furious when his steak arrived too rare."Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear…
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    Missed Delivery

    Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So, when one irate…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Auction Parrot

    One day a man went to an auction.While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
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    Buying Shoes

    A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes."How do they feel?" asked…
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    That's the Way . . .

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put…
  • knife and_fork

    Joey Sets The Table

    A certain man had invited the pastor and his wife for dinner, and it was little Joey's…
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    Who's the Boss?

    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any…
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    ER Reminder

    I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
  • picture of university building

    How To Write A College Paper

    How to write a College Paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted…
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    Restroom Bugs

    I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the…
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    One Carton and Six Eggs

    This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males: A wife asks her husband, "Could…

 

Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples:

- The future of "I give" is "I take."

- The parts of speech are lungs and air.

- The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

- A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

- Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

- (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

- A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

- The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

- A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.

- Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

- The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

- The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

- We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

- One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

- A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

- One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

- To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

- The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

- The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

- Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.

- The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

- Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

- The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

- In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

- Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

- In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

- A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.

- The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down

- You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

- A vibration is a motion that can't make up it's mind which way it wants to go.

- There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- I'm not sure how clouds are formed, but clouds know how to do it, and that's the important part.

- Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it gets big enough to drop, it does.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- It is so hot in some places that people have to live in other places.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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