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  • doctor office

    Little Voice

    A man walks into his doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I've eaten something that…
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    Office Answering Message

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    Dog Meters

    Two dogs out and about, walk over to a parking meter.One says to the other, "How do you…
  • worm

    Johnny In The Garden

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
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    18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek

    *18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious…
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    Work Phrases Explained

    *Work Phrases Explained*Activate:To make carbons and add more names to the memo.Advanced…
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    Hunting Pairs

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one…
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    You're not a kid anymore when....

    You're not a kid anymore when....1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.2.…
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    Red, White and Blue

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our…
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    Car Trip

    Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada. To help pass the time, the boy…
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    Chapstick

    We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.Jack was a great cat…
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    Vacation Cut

    Before going on vacation, I decided on the spur of the moment to have my very long,…
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    Movie Night

    My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time…
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    Someone Is Knocking

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All…
  • boots

    Boot Lesson

    A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for…

 

Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples:

- The future of "I give" is "I take."

- The parts of speech are lungs and air.

- The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

- A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

- Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

- (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

- A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

- The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

- A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.

- Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

- The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

- The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

- We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

- One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

- A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

- One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

- To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

- The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

- The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

- Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.

- The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

- Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

- The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

- In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

- Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

- In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

- A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.

- The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down

- You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

- A vibration is a motion that can't make up it's mind which way it wants to go.

- There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- I'm not sure how clouds are formed, but clouds know how to do it, and that's the important part.

- Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it gets big enough to drop, it does.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- It is so hot in some places that people have to live in other places.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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