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More Jokes

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    School Daze

    It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from…
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    Hospital Information

    A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I…
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    Muffled Workers

    Winters are fierce where he lives, so the owner of the estate felt He was doing a good…
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    8-Year-Old Asks

    An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy,…
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    One and Ten

    Elizabeth was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt…
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    Anti-Burglar Signs

    The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few…
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    Military Computer Manners

    The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic…
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    Can Cure

    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor…
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    Head Check

    One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he…
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    Passing Pain

    An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good…
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    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…
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    Tips rejected by Martha Stewart

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Flossing

    As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the…
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    Lost and Found

    A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa got out. The…
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    Cave Soliciting

    Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing.…

*Kid's View of Science*

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

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