More Jokes

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    Bridge Over Troubled Waters

    There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.…
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    The Haircut

    A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister,…
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    Surgery Headache

    A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump…
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    Mom's Bath Note

    Dear Kids, Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
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    Scientist's Convention

    In the far distant future in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the…
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    The Gift

    A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, "I…
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    Are You a Policeman?

    A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?""No, I am an undercover…
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    The Grandma Test

    I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter. She picked up something off the…
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    Coffee Cool

    I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the…
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    Signs You Are Broke

    1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course…
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    Golf Cheater

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…
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    Translation Please

    A French guest, staying in a American hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black…
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    Mechanic Rate

    A woman surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair. "This is…
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    Looking Back

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
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    Minivan Tow

    A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down. He turned…

*Kid's View of Science*

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

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