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More Jokes

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    Actual Hiker Comments

    These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and…
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    Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

    1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down…
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    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer: - You've backed-up your desktop by…
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    Windshield Wiper Quit

    Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right -- the driver's side. This…
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    Ten for Sure

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    IRS Audit

    A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to…
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    Garage Keys

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.…
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    Green Side Up

    A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.…
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    Curbing Church Growth

    25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth1. Begin your message with the…
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    Ahh . . . Friendship

    A man, fond of practical jokes, decided late one night to send his friend a collect…
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    True Calls to the IRS

    True Calls to the IRSCaller: I want to know if I should file married or single.IRS: Are…
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    Goober Eye Pain

    A goober went to the doctor complaining, "Doctor every time I drink tea my eye…
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    12 Days of Fastfood

    On the first day of Christmas,My drive through gave to me:A Big Bacon Classic with…
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    Matchmaker

    Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual…
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    Waiting For A Table

    When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up…

*Kid's View of Science*

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

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