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More Jokes

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    Ship Movie

    On many U.S. Navy ships the movie screen is suspended amid-ship so that it can be viewed…
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    Doctor News

    The doctor took his patient into his office and said, "I have some good news and some bad…
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    New Convert Help

    He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently…
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    Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

    - Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements. - In Christmas play, Joseph seen…
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    Worm Stubborn

    Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill…
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    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

    Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not…
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    Lemon-Aid

    A local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a…
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    I'm a Moth

    A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

    ~ Ever since they hit the big time, those Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.~ Santa…
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    Prayer Postions

    Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman…
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    Hot Shot Pilot

    A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a…
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    Window Seats

    At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both…
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    Granny's Visit

    Little Tony was so happy to see his grandmother that he ran up and gave her a big hug.…
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    Foot Snuggle

    On a chilly winter evening, my husband and I were snuggled together on the floor watching…
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    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…

*Kid's View of Science*

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

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