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More Jokes

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    Vendor Problem

    In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data…
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    Surgery Headache

    A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump…
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    Priest's Uniform

    A little boy, not accustomed to seeing a priest in his "work uniform" went up to the…
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    $100.00 Please

    A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.…
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    Card Cover Up

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card.The…
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    Helping Mom

    A little while after my mother was widowed, it became apparent that she was unable to…
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    Goober Travel Times

    A Goober gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and…
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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
  • Wedding Day Truths

    From the Beginning

    My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he…
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    Best Man

    A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats…
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    Epitaph Adjustment

    A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she…
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    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…
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    Hearing Problems

    An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the…
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    Bridge Over Troubled Waters

    There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.…
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    Speeding Registration

    On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the…

*Kid's View of Science*

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

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