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More Jokes

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    Dear Marty

    Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter.…
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    Finch Flush

    When my youngest son was three years old, one of his finches died. It was winter so we…
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    Cross Country Move

    When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our…
  • desert negev

    Mummy Shock

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus…
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    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…
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    VP Moniker

    The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good…
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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
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    Milkman Notes

    These notes left for milkmen came from the UK, so you'll notice a slight, endearing…
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    What Don't You Have?

    An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have…
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    Charm School 101

    At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm…
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    New Home No Hears

    Top ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to…
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    Boring Flight

    Bored during a long flight, an eminent scholar leaned over and woke up the sleeping man…
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    Express Desire

    A pastor in Central Illinois went to the railroad depot everyday to watch the express…
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    Better Preaching

    After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, "You were much better…
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    Self-Evident Truths about Pets

    * Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many…

*Kid's View of Science*

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

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