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    Lost Bid

    Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Kid Comments

    * A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth ?"One lil' girl spoke up:…
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    Mess Sign

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    Fine Request

    A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the…
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    Seen in the Cafeteria

    At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend. He…
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    How's My Driving?

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Name That Baby

    When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen.…
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    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…
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    Prayer Postions

    Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman…
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    Strange Lawsuits

    An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own…
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    Needled

    At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going…
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    Modern Potty Training

    Little brother: What do I do now?Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.Little…
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    Mom, Send Money

    A kid called up his mum from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out…
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    Comments Never Heard At Church

    1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your…
Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.

The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"

I replied: "You really want to know?"

Then I dropped out of the race.
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