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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    If You Go, I'll Go

    A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he…
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    Not Going to Church

    One Sunday morning, a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to…
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    My Dog At It

    A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning. That was about half the…
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    Are You a Policeman?

    A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?""No, I am an undercover…
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    Dress Code for Seniors

    Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go…
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    Temperance River

    A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had…
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    Towel Misunderstanding

    One day a child at my four-year-old's Sunday school class told her classmates that she…
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    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
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    Late at Walmart

    Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on…
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    Good News Dewey

    Olga phoned her husband, Dewey, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said Dewey, "but…
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    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

    Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not…
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    Broken Bone

    While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a…
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    Actual Signs

    Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you…
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    Color Blind

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…

Automotive Gift Suggestions - Just in Time for Last Minute Christmas Shopping

If you have an "Automotive Minded" person in you life, these gift suggestions should be considered.

1. Tire Air Change Kit. This kit comes with everything you need to change the air in your tires. This highly recommended but often overlooked maintenance item is much easier now. Remember to change your air every

3000 miles or twice a year. $25

2. Blinker Fluid. You knew it existed but, WOW, is this stuff hard to find. 4oz bottle. $12

3. Synthetic Blinker Fluid. Better yet! 4oz bottle. $24

4. Light Bulb Filaments. Why throw away a perfectly good turn signal or stop light bulb when you can just install a new filament? Premium Filaments, made in the USA! $1 each.

5. Manifold Heat. Yes, your exhaust manifold should be HOT. If it's not, you may need this item. Sold by the pound. $3.50

6. Steering Wheel Gaskets. All SIZES available! Email for specific application. From $9.99

7. Tie Rod Tensioner. Is your tie rod limp? Tension it with T-50! $14.99

8. Alternator Batteries. (4 required, replace them all!) From $2.99

9. Fan Belt Buckles. Specify brass or chrome. Gold available special order. $14.99

10. Muffler Bearing Manual. Print version $59.95

11. Muffler Bearing Manual. CD version $49.99

12. Universal Muffler Bearing Tool Kit $105.59

13. Muffler Bearing Hi Temp Synthetic Lube (the only kind we sell!) $40.24

14. Muffler Bearings From $19.95

15. Muffler Bearing Gasket Kits From $9.99

16. Momentum (required for tackling some off road obstacles). Sold by the lb-ft/sec $0.50

17. Microsoft Windows Eliminator. If your car or truck begins to run poorly, (long time to start, frequent crashes, etc.), it's computer, (ecm, ecu, black box, etc.), may have become infected with this nasty computer virus. This product will safely remove the virus. $199

18. Mirror Image Flipper Film. Did you know that the image you see in your rear view mirrors are reversed! This is a manufacturing flaw that the auto companies have kept secret for years as the recall would cost BILLIONS!

This film can be cut and placed over any mirror to correct the image. Now you'll be able to read signs in the rear view mirror! $5 per square ft.

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