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    Goober Operator

    My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. When I called, the…
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    Medical News

    Dr. Mike Wilson asks his patient, "Which do you want first, the good news or the bad…
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    That's the Way . . .

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put…
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    Goober Travel Times

    A Goober gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and…
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    Clergy Crowd Control

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Hearing Problems

    An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the…
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    Lost

    Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along…
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    Gardening Help

    An old man living alone in South Armagh, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't…
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    Goober Loot

    If you are wondering what a goober is, you can see one here. Two goobers, Bob and Joe,…
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    Friendship Poems

    Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never…
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    Computer Error

    I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come…
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    Funny Police Quotes

    Funny Police Quotes "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out…
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    Simple Operation

    A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…

Last Minute TurkeyIt's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door.  "Please let me in," says the man, "I forgot to buy a turkey and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."

"OK" says the butcher.  "Let me see what's left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left.  He brings it out to show the man.

"That one's too skinny.  What else have you got"?  says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes then brings the same turkey back out to the man.

"Oh no," says the man, "that one doesn't look any better.  You better give me both of them."

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