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    Tie Conspiracy

    At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that…
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    No Stairs

    An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
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    Shirt Note

    The trendy dresser fancied himself quite a lady-killer, and was delighted to find a note…
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    Kind Word

    A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his…
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    Weddings and Funerals

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling…
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    Silent Monastery

    Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, "Sister, this is…
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    Camping with Holmes

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of…
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    Didn't See That Coming

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her…
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    Great Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
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    Shower or Tub

    New Englanders are known for their dry wit and logic.Once in Martha's Vineyard a hotel…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Prescription Worries

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know,…
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    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…

Harry came into the office an hour late for the third time in a week. "What's the story this time, Harry?" his boss asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."

Harry sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the draw bridge got stuck. I swam across the river--see, my suit's still damp--ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Trump's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."

"You'll have to do better than that, Harry," said the boss. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes!"

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