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  • old lady

    Cast Off

    An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
  • picture of elderly couple

    Sharing

    Uncle Sid and Aunt Sadie are in their eighties and have been married for more than sixty…
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    Looking For Mike

    After directory assistance gave Glenda her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed…
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    Children At The Dinner Party

    During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 1

    Computer One-liners - Part 1Hard Disk space: the final frontier!Hardware: The parts of a…
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    Liturgical Response

    In our Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting. The officiating clergyman…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

    So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh,…
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    Chet's Graduation

    It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Chet. At the…
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    Warning Labels

    Warning Labels!7 Up:Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other…
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    Parenting Tip

    Mary Siegel was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best…
  • purse red

    Purse Contents

    As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the…
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    Missed Bus

    The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six-year-old daughter missed her…
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    Read The Label

    A three-year-old boy went with his father to see a litter of kittens. On returning home,…
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    Lost

    Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along…
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    Salesman Stop By

    One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie…
"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."
(A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.)

"Domino vobiscum."
(The pizza guy's here.)

"Sharpei diem."
(Seize the Wrinkled Dog.)

"Motorolus interruptus."
(Hold on, I'm going into a tunnel.)

"Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi forevercus."
(Better take the nose ring out before the job interview.)

"Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus."
(It's Now Safe To Turn Off Your Computer.)

"Tempo Waturim."
(I drove my Ford off a bridge.)

"Litigata Ergo Sum."
(I sue, therefore I am.)

"Et tu, pluribus unum?"
(The government just stabbed me in the back!)

"Cavett Emptor."
(Beware, Dick Cavett could still make a comeback.)
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