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  • steak2

    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
  • radio hand

    Helicopter Debate

    My cousin worked on the Alaska pipeline as a welder. He said helicopters were a big help…
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    Engine Failure

    Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,…
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    Funny Police Quotes

    Funny Police Quotes "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out…
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    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
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    Are You a Policeman?

    A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?""No, I am an undercover…
  • bank

    Balance

    I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other…
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    Found Purse

    As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the…
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    Dinosaur Bones

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur…
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    Five Kinds of Fruit

    In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They…
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    Rare Steak

    Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the…
  • dog6

    Dog Exercises

    You've seen those fitness ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of…
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    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Real Newspaper Ads

    These are real ads from a newspaper. 1. 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850 or best offer 2.…
"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."
(A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.)

"Domino vobiscum."
(The pizza guy's here.)

"Sharpei diem."
(Seize the Wrinkled Dog.)

"Motorolus interruptus."
(Hold on, I'm going into a tunnel.)

"Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi forevercus."
(Better take the nose ring out before the job interview.)

"Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus."
(It's Now Safe To Turn Off Your Computer.)

"Tempo Waturim."
(I drove my Ford off a bridge.)

"Litigata Ergo Sum."
(I sue, therefore I am.)

"Et tu, pluribus unum?"
(The government just stabbed me in the back!)

"Cavett Emptor."
(Beware, Dick Cavett could still make a comeback.)
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