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More Jokes

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    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
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    Morning Sickness

    Sarah dropped in on her sister Molly and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring…
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    Wacky Definitions

    Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal…
  • thermos

    Goober Return

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. A goober walks up…
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    Haircut Conversations

    *A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:*Oh! That's so cute!Do you think so? I wasn't…
  • shopping

    Color Blind

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Blessed Be The Tie

    A guy walking in the desert desperately needed a drink. As he followed the dunes, he came…
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    Broken Scale

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • picture of pretzel

    Pretzel Charity

    A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young…
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    A Good Haircut

    Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went…
  • Amish Law

    Amish Law

    An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed…
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    'Twas the Night Before Finals

    'Twas the night before finals,And all through the college,The students were prayingFor…
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    Before and After Children

    *Before and After Children*BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    The French Legionnaires

    There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from…

There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of Parenthood

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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