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More Jokes

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    Anniversary Card

    It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the…
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    Pain Cause

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Mr. Scwartz

    Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help…
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    Foreign Languages

    A Swiss guy visited Sydney, Australia, and pulled up at a bus stop where two locals were…
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    Paper View

    I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my…
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    Goober Circle

    A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved…
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    Bulletin Bloopers #2

    More Church Bulletins Bloopers - The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which…
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    29 Ways to Annoy People

    32 Ways To Annoy People 1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch…
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    All Roads Lead Back to Rome

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.…
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    Golf Meditations

    If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.…
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    Minivan Tow

    A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down. He turned…
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    Guard Dog Sniff

    My boyfriend, Tim, a mechanic, does work for the Air Force Academy. One day, a guard…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Narrow Escape Responses

    There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The…
  • train station

    Large Party

    On one occasion William Howard Taft, in his work as an attorney, took a train to…

There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of Parenthood

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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