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More Jokes

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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…
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    Mad Cow Conversation

    Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard…
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    Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
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    Where did I come from?

    One day our Little niece Rita went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come…
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    One-liners

    *43.3% of statistics are meaningless! *Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.…
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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Chewed Out

    My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that…
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    Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

    1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?So you've decided to get yourself a human being.…
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    What a Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
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    Dining Out

    The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at the table; Mr. & Mrs. Smith…
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    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Goober on the Loose

    Three convicts escaped from prison. They made it to the downtown of a nearby city but…
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    Homilies To Live By

    Homilies To Live ByGive a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to…
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    Sharing

    Uncle Sid and Aunt Sadie are in their eighties and have been married for more than sixty…
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    Country Tunes

    My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style…

There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of Parenthood

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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