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More Jokes

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    Mr. Scwartz

    Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help…
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    Missing Bags

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area so I went to the lost luggage…
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    Prayer Positions

    Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman…
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    The Night of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
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    Chain Fired

    A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the…
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    Daaaad!

    A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:"Da-ad...""What?""I'm…
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    Egg Contents

    One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Verbalized Prayers

    The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would…
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    Sam's Fishing

    A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish…
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    Dishwashed Verse

    Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, This isn't a man s job.Oh yes, it…
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    Ugly Suit

    When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but…
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    Fast Driver

    My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we…
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    Coffee For Grandma

    A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee.…
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    Gladys Pun

    There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on…

There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of Parenthood

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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