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More Jokes

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    Test Crash

    As the test pilot climbed out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and…
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    Signs You Need A New Lawyer

    1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.2. He tells you that his…
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    Finishing

    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So…
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    Application

    An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you…
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    The Day Before

    Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles his…
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    Anyone Home?

    A social worker who had recently transferred from the big city to the mountains was…
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    Piranha Spell

    While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked…
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    Work Confusion

    A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.The man was…
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    Engaged Beauty

    Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her…
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    Help Wanted

    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP…
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    Rewiring

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
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    Goober Guess

    This goober named Jed was walking down the road one day when he came across his friend,…
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    Spelling Bee Confusing

    If GH can stand for P as in HiccoughIf OUGH stands for O as in DoughIf PHTH stands for T…
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    Combination Faith

    The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the…

There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of Parenthood

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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