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More Jokes

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    Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

    ** See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.** Ask…
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    Camping with Holmes

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of…
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    Need Help?

    I saw a billboard yesterday that said: Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-555-HELP Out of…
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    Get Moving

    While driving with my granddaughter, I was getting annoyed with the driver ahead of me…
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    Lemon-Aid

    A local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a…
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    The Place for Grace

    When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away."Johnny wait until we…
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    Self Defense

    During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the…
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    Congratulations "Good" News!

    * The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. * They say the house didn't float…
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    Tourist Questions

    Here are some of the "All-Time Dumbest Questions" asked by Banff Park tourists. On…
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    Pregnant Stamp

    A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first…
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    Does It Hurt?

    When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three…
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    Goober Ice Fishing

    A goober wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally,…
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    Dressing Down

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
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    Heavy Housework

    Smith goes to see his supervisor. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning…
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    Rare Bible

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away…

There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of Parenthood

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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