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More Jokes

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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…
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    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
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    Fight Lights

    I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that…
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    In My Day

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one…
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    Parrot Dream Fulfilled

    A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of the items for sale is a large…
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    Mom's Special Brownies

    "Mom's Special Brownies"Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.Melt 1 cup…
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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    The End Of The World

    When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE'RE DEAD The…
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    Barbecue Forks

    As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long…
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    The Same Taste

    Looking in the mall for a cotton nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its sexy…
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    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
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    Resurrection Update

    A singing group call "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church.Everyone was…
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    Married Witness

    An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered at him,…
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    Goober with a Pager

    One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company.…
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    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…

There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of Parenthood

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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