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More Jokes

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    Library Confusion

    The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the…
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    Unbreakable

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    No Speaka Da German

    A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed…
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    Art Good News/Bad News

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on…
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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Crossing Lesson

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    Ash Request

    A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me…
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    Education At Work

    "What's the usual tip?" a man growled when, Jason, a college student delivered his pizza.…
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    Dalmation Role

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a…
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    A Simple Explanation of Baseball

    This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
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    Realistic Fishing Proverb

    Give a man a fish and he will eat all day. Teach a man to fish and he will go out and buy…
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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
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    Wedding Blessing

    At a wedding ceremony that I was performing, I raised my hand to give the final…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…

There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of Parenthood

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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