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More Jokes

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    Understanding Art

    Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a…
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    Saintly Sons

    Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He…
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    Eye Problems

    "Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
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    Mowing the Lawn

    I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn…
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    Road To Easy Street

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted…
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    Letter From A Farm Kid

    Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:Dear Ma and Pa:I…
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    Cute Baby

    When we brought our new-born son to the pediatrician for his first checkup, the doctor…
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    Diaper Change

    "Here's your problem," says the doctor to the first-time father. "This baby's in serious…
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    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Goober Circle

    A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved…
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    Aerobic Dismay

    Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I…
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    Hospital Information

    A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I…
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    Dewey Check

    I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack."Where's…
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    Yiddish Speak

    During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli…

*Laws of Parenting*

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5. Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

6. If the shoe fits...it's expensive.

7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

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