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More Jokes

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    Flower Oil

    When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a…
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    Out of this World Restaurant (groaner)

    Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
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    Hard to Pronounce

    As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I…
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    Garage Keys

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
  • house brick

    New Home No Hears

    Top ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to…
  • old lady

    Cast Off

    An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
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    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
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    Funeral Bells

    A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after…
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    Too Late To Date

    After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was…
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    Forgotten Watch

    A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for…
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    Grandpa's Day Out

    Grandpa's Day Out A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa…
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    Young Businessman

    A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office…
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    You Know You're Getting Old When

    You know you're getting there when... Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt…
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    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…

*Laws of Parenting*

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5. Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

6. If the shoe fits...it's expensive.

7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

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