logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Fate

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
  • Default Image

    Small Town Justice

    A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.…
  • Default Image

    YMCA Innocence

    A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he…
  • Default Image

    Hymns vs. Choruses

    An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home…
  • Default Image

    Library Argument

    On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with…
  • Default Image

    Awake Tip

    Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat…
  • Default Image

    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver.…
  • Default Image

    Two Feet

    A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car. Pushed to the…
  • Default Image

    Strange 911 Calls

    *Strange 911 Calls*A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share…
  • car w driver3

    The Haircut

    A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister…
  • Default Image

    Transcribing Confusion

    We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came…
  • Default Image

    Resume Blunders

    How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:"My…
  • Default Image

    Does Your Dog Bite?

    A man was standing on the curb reading a newspaper, A great big dog was curled up at his…
  • Default Image

    Market Conditions

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
  • Default Image

    You Know You Have A Bad Computer When

    You Know You Have A Bad Computer When . . .10. The lower corner of screen has the words…

So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh, (which I think went to the same place that socks go to when they disappear from the dryer) that I thought I had better rerun the joke in its entirety. I now declare a 5 minute recess from seriousness.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second party (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.

The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the afore-mentioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self- same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "The Firm".

Powered By JFBConnect