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More Jokes

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    Interesting Thoughts

    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? If a pig loses its voice, is it…
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    Why ask Why?

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why…
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    Materialistic Or What?

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to…
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    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey

    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey: Ingedients: - 1 large turkey - 1 small turkey…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Ready, Set, Go

    Two campers, Chris and Michael, are awakened by the sounds of an obviously large bear…
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    Running Away

    A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He…
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    Looking For Barney

    A four year old was at the paediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her…
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    Did You See That?

    Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, "Did you see that?" "No," Darryl…
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    Fly Bye

    A woman walked into her house to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.…
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    Ten Commandments

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and…
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    Meeting Invitation

    I was telling a friend about my enrollment in a weight-loss program and how excited I was…
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    Homework Policy

    Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than…
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    Exact Address

    Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…

Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here are some:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't.

--Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.

--Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

--Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

--Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

--Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

--William's Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science:

1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.

2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.

3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Machines should work. People should think.

--IBM's Pollyanna Principle:

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.

--The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

--Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

--Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

--Cannon's Comment

Thinly sliced cabbage.

--Cole's Law

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