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    Helping Sam at Church

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Getting Out

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    Doody Solution

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    Career Change

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    Swahili Gasp

    A company was producing an English-language movie. In one scene, an exhausted messenger…
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    Award Shows

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    Sleeping Juror

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    The War of the Navels

    The War of the Navels People have navels of different kinds,Ineys and outeys, to that…
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    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor

    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor~ Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out,…
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    Buffalo Comments

    Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing tourist said, "Those are the…
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    Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline

    Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline9. "Hi, is this the chopstick…
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    Ravine Golfing

    One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing.Ben sliced his ball deep into a…
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    Road To Easy Street

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted…
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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…
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    Ironic Call

    One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked him…

Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here are some:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't.

--Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.

--Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

--Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

--Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

--Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

--William's Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science:

1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.

2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.

3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Machines should work. People should think.

--IBM's Pollyanna Principle:

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.

--The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

--Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

--Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

--Cannon's Comment

Thinly sliced cabbage.

--Cole's Law

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