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    Store Safety

    While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker…
  • police pull over

    Speedy Comeback

    The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his…
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    Dressing Down

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
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    Military Haircut

    Tiring of the same old buzz haircut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went…
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    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…
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    You Know You Are a Geek When

    You know you are a geek when . . .You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that…
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    Gold Watch

    A boss to a retiree:"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold…
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    Faithful Service Gift

    I recall a story my father used to tell about a pastor who had been at a church for 20…
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    Johnny's Dust

    After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away.…
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    Dollar Measure

    Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to…
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    Men and Women

    Differences Between Men & Women NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out…
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    Pillar Interruption

    The Sunday School teacher described how Lot's wife looked back at Sodom and was turned…
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    Birth Warp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Get Moving

    While driving with my granddaughter, I was getting annoyed with the driver ahead of me…
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    Summer Camp

    A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer…

Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here are some:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't.

--Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.

--Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

--Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

--Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

--Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

--William's Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science:

1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.

2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.

3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Machines should work. People should think.

--IBM's Pollyanna Principle:

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.

--The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

--Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

--Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

--Cannon's Comment

Thinly sliced cabbage.

--Cole's Law

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