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More Jokes

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    Talking in Your Sleep

    A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.The…
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    Where's The Beef

    The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of…
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    Sorting Letters

    Myrddin had gotten a part time job at the Post Office and the supervisor there had been…
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    Goober Operator

    My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. When I called, the…
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    Software Training

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
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    Bonus

    Here's hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.Faced with hard times, the…
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    It Pays to Read Labels

    I finally figured out why I am so "full-figured"!As I was conditioning my hair in the…
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    18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek

    *18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious…
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    Jewelry Store Application

    Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca…
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    Goober Coffee Maker

    The newlywed Goober went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received…
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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
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    Bicycle Accidents

    In the early 1990's, when I was stationed at Caserma Carlo Ederle in Italy, it was very…
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    Behavior Modification

    One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office.When I walked…
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    Bagel Storm

    It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets…

Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here are some:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't.

--Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.

--Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

--Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

--Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

--Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

--William's Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science:

1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.

2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.

3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Machines should work. People should think.

--IBM's Pollyanna Principle:

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.

--The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

--Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

--Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

--Cannon's Comment

Thinly sliced cabbage.

--Cole's Law

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