logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    The Company Car

    The Company Car...1. It accelerates at a phenomenal rate.2. It has a much shorter braking…
  • computer keyboard

    Military Computer Manners

    The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic…
  • Default Image

    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
  • flower geranium

    Geraniums

    A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the…
  • Default Image

    Hooked Shot

    Jack was first up in his foursome. Eyeing the ball, he swung his club and hooked his shot…
  • Default Image

    Flying Blind

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
  • Default Image

    Put Him Back

    When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into…
  • Default Image

    Conch Sale

    In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on…
  • Default Image

    Gym Oops

    New to the United States, I was eager to meet people. So one day I struck up a…
  • Default Image

    Golf Lesson

    This fellow's wife was constantly nagging him to teach her to play golf. Finally, one…
  • Default Image

    Freedom

    The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to…
  • Default Image

    Zoo Trip

    Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his…
  • Default Image

    New Russian

    I just returned from a mission trip in Belarus, where we were building churches. My…
  • Default Image

    Lemon-Aid

    A local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a…
  • Mother's Day photo frame

    What Mom's Really Want

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want...* 10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone)…

Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am, but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Gail

Powered By JFBConnect