logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Old Red

    Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller's Show, announced he was 80 years old but that 80…
  • A funny joke about a man who takes up tennis later in life.

    Tennis Talk

    A manager was told by his doctor to take up some sport for exercise so he decided to play…
  • Default Image

    Cinnamon Rolls

    At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at…
  • Default Image

    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
  • phone help

    Phone Calls

    Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm…
  • Default Image

    I can't come in to work today because . . . .

    - "My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I'm…
  • Default Image

    Word Impatience

    Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless,…
  • picture of men's dress shoes

    Tight Shoes

    A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…
  • Default Image

    Baby Talk

    What your baby would tell you if he could talk:1. I have my blankie, you have your…
  • Default Image

    Ships Passing

    A rather old minesweeper was cruising a lonely stretch of the South Pacific and was…
  • Default Image

    Rookies

    A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A…
  • Trojan Virus Warning

    Trojan Virus Warning

    Hey Hector, This was forwarded to me by Cassandra - it looks legit. Please distribute to…
  • Default Image

    Older Parents

    We had our ten-year-old daughter late in life, long after our two boys were born. She is…
  • thief

    Finally

    A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"…
  • Default Image

    49 Cards

    A friend of ours waited until the last minute to send Christmas cards. She knew she had…

Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am, but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Gail

Powered By JFBConnect