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More Jokes

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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…
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    Vampire Bat

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    Deacon's Minutes

    The newly elected secretary for the Deacon Board at church submitted this report:October…
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    Baseball Doctor

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
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    New and Approved

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    Shy Visit To The Dentist

    A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for his first cleaning and check-up. The…
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    Chicken Cannon

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    Long Sermon Feedback

    After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying…
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    CD Entrance

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…
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    Goober Loot

    Two Goobers, Bob and Joe, decided to rob a bank and all they get away with are two sacks,…
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    Good Singer

    In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a…
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    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

    (From the Archives back in 1999)1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other…
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    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
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    You Know It's Hot Outside When…

    You Know It's Hot Outside When...**you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the…
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    Busted

    He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family…

If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases:

-For the chronically absent:

"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."

-For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."

-For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

-For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

-For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

-For a stupid employee:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."

-For a dishonest employee:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."

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