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Letters of Recommendation

If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases:

-For the chronically absent:

"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."

-For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."

-For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

-For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

-For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

-For a stupid employee:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."

-For a dishonest employee:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."

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