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More Jokes

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    Grizzly Bears

    Wildlife officials in Alaska are alarmed at the increase in grizzly bear attacks on…
  • doctor4

    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…
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    Boss Prepared

    As salesman was assigned to secure an important client but failed in his mission.He faxed…
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    Marrying Young

    My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece…
  • children3

    Kid Quotes

    "Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."- Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh…
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    10 Minutes Alone

    After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front…
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    Be Careful Following the Crowd

    Another true life story for the Funnies... A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for…
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    Losing Load

    A trucker stops for red light and a goober girl catches up. She knocks on the door and…
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    Overworked

    For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my…
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    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…
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    Moon Cheese

    For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.Then the astronauts found…
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    Kidnapped

    Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officers…
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    Forgetting Something

    A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it…
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    Mommy Test

    I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the…
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    Bridge Trouble

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway when a sign comes up that reads "Low…

If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases:

-For the chronically absent:

"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."

-For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."

-For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

-For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

-For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

-For a stupid employee:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."

-For a dishonest employee:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."

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