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    Never Be Late

    A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A…
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    Pain Cause

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
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    Head Check

    One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he…
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    Screaming patient

    A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after…
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    Sister Cheer Up

    My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening…
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    Show and Tell

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best…
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    Junior's Nickels

    There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The…
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    Second Opinion

    A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very worried and all strung out. She rattled…
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    Goober Painter

    Julie, the goober, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the…
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    Train Candy Bar

    Little Johnny and his friend Billy were on their very first train ride, with Billy's…
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    Newborn Utterance

    The birth of our second child, a daughter, came after a long and difficult labor. But it…
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    IRS Call

    When the minister picked up the phone, Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the…
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    Penguin Zoo

    Did you hear about the man that had a pet penguin? Soon after he got his penguin, he was…
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    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer*

    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer* 1. Well, it's…

Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore.

One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. Steve tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (there was no moss), the direction of the sun (it was an overcast day).

Just as his wife was beginning to panic, Steve spotted a small cabin off in the distance. He pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, then turned and led his wife right back to their camp.

"That was terrific," she said, impressed. "How did you do it?"

"Simple," he replied. "In this part of the country all TV satellite dishes point south."

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