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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Learning From Snowmen

    "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " It's okay if you're a…
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    Eating Out

    Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches…
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    Little Benny

    Little Benny came home from his first day of school and said, "Mommy, the teacher was…
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    How Does This Work?

    Bob was on vacation, visiting a Las Vegas casino for the first time. He decided to play…
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    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…
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    The French Legionnaires

    There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from…
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    Liturgical Response

    In our Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting. The officiating clergyman…
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    As It Lies

    Bill and Bob, longtime golfing buddies, were involved in a match-play contest with the…
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    Bath Note

    Dear Kids,Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
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    Haircut Conversations

    *A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:*Oh! That's so cute!Do you think so? I wasn't…
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    Lawyer Choice

    There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came…
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    Chewed Out Answer

    A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he…
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    Birthday Greetings

    Seen on a birthday card.Forget about the past, You can't change it.Forget about the…
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    Life and Death

    A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes…
Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years.  Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.  Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. 

"I have a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us."

"Great.  Where do you live?"

"Here's the address.  And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment.  Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter!  When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door.  Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in."

"Good.  But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?"

"Surely, you're not coming empty-handed."
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