logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Visiting Oxford

    An guy was visiting Oxford University for the first time. He stopped a passing Oxford don…
  • Default Image

    The Batchelor

    I realized that my six-year-old grandson had been watching too many reality TV shows the…
  • police dog

    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
  • Default Image

    A Diet For Dealing With Stress

    1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a…
  • Default Image

    Location Question

    Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went into…
  • Default Image

    Wrapping Talk

    A few days after Christmas last year, my six year old son and I were talking.He asked,…
  • Default Image

    Three Important Words

    At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married…
  • Default Image

    Cowboy's Guide to Life

    Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you…
  • Default Image

    Movie Impatience

    We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it…
  • Default Image

    Dollar Measure

    Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to…
  • Default Image

    Offended Goober

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Market Conditions

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
  • paramedics doll

    Doll Play

    Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course.…
  • Default Image

    Memo Differences

    Memo from Director General to Manager:Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
  • Default Image

    Dog Weather

    To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog.If the dog is at the door…

True Stories, by David Smith

I went to McDonald's.  I looked at the menu and saw that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.  I asked for a half-dozen nuggets.
"We don't have a half-dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets but I can order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

*****************

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.  When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they asked for a credit card number, so she's using the ATM "thingy".

*****************

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.  "Do you need some help?" I asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker.  Now I can't get into my car.  Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno.  Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries .  .  .  it's a long walk."

*****************

Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift.  One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told him.

With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

*****************

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage.  The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister".  I asked the manager what had happened.  He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

*****************

Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents.  Two for a dollar


*****************

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.  Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.  One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:

"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.  Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

*****************

I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year.  My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping.  I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.  Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

*****************

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message, "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed .

Powered By JFBConnect