logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    City Preacher

    Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn.…
  • Default Image

    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of"yes/no" type…
  • Default Image

    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
  • Default Image

    Card Reader Instructions

    Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe…
  • Default Image

    39 And Holding

    A young child asked a woman how old she was. She answered, "39 and holding." The child…
  • Default Image

    Tough Kids

    Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first…
  • man grumpy

    Hearing Aid

    While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was…
  • Default Image

    Exercise Routine

    Here's the exercise program I am using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
  • Default Image

    Hasty Departure

    A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given…
  • Default Image

    Goober Guide to Household tools

    A goober's guide to household tools: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it…
  • Default Image

    Mouse Trap

    A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, "Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will…
  • Default Image

    Things That Make You Go "Ummmmmmm????"

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Instead of talking to your…
  • Default Image

    Poor Preacher

    After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give…
  • airport security

    Packing

    I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in…
  • Default Image

    Baseball Doctor

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…

True Stories, by David Smith

I went to McDonald's.  I looked at the menu and saw that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.  I asked for a half-dozen nuggets.
"We don't have a half-dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets but I can order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

*****************

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.  When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they asked for a credit card number, so she's using the ATM "thingy".

*****************

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.  "Do you need some help?" I asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker.  Now I can't get into my car.  Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno.  Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries .  .  .  it's a long walk."

*****************

Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift.  One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told him.

With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

*****************

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage.  The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister".  I asked the manager what had happened.  He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

*****************

Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents.  Two for a dollar


*****************

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.  Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.  One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:

"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.  Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

*****************

I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year.  My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping.  I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.  Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

*****************

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message, "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed .

Powered By JFBConnect