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    Two Kids

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
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    Get-Well Gift

    My wife coordinates get-well gifts for our church members who are in the hospital.…
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    Coverup Catch

    This guy had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without…
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    Repair Call

    Bill was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
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    Signs of A Bad Baptismal Service

    *Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service* 10. The Coast Guard is involved. 9.…
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    Goober Stewardess

    An airline captain was breaking in a new goober stewardess. The route they were flying…
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    Lost Turnabout

    Driving to a new restaurant, a woman took several wrong turns. When she finally found the…
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    Haircut Request

    When a customer slid into the barber chair, the barber asked him how he wanted his hair…
  • picture of cat on roof

    Cat's Guide For Human Care

    More Excerpts from "The Cat's Guide To Caring For Your Human. Cats are beautiful,…
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    Arguing

    The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…
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    Farmer Joe & Bessie

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the…
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    First Day Answer

    The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you…
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    Show and Tell

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best…
In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used belonged to our drill instructor.  For instance, she referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash" and to the racks where we slept as "my racks."

One time when when we were all whispering in the bathroom while making "head calls," our drill instructor must have overheard us.

To our surprise, she suddenly yelled, "Why do I hear voices in my head?"
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