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    Toucan Yell

    Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird flying overhead. The…
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    Catfish Fishing

    Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his…
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    Fax Hint

    As a professor at the Air Force Institute of Technology, I taught a series of popular…
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    Tip Revenge

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    Raise Plea

    The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise…
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    Ohio

    Apparently I tend to brag too much about my home state of Ohio.One day I told a…
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    Restaurant Return

    An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an…
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    --- WARNING, DANGER! ---

    --- WARNING, DANGER! --- I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering…
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    Emergency Flowers

    I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was…
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    Goober Medical Terms

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    How Cold is it?

    An annotated thermometer: (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius) +50 / +10* New York tenants…
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    Weight Report

    A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.One day while…
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    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…
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    More Dog Quotes

    "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown "In dog years, I'm…
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    Found Cell Phone

    When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers,…

cookingMartha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up"

My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's just too bad. My motto is, I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.

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Martha's way: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.

My way: Eat out every night and avoid cooking.

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Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

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Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?

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Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

My way: Buy the lemon or lime juice that is in the little plastic lemon or lime.

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Martha's way: Now look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer.

*Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

*Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

*Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

*Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

My way: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once.

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