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More Jokes

  • preacher

    Top Ten Signs You're in for a Long Sermon

    10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler. 9. The pews have…
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    Heredity

    Father, Mother and their 3 sons, John (the oldest), Mike (middle) and Steve (youngest)…
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    Re-Gifting

    She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, she thought, I have that…
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    You and Your Boss: The Subtle Differences

    If you take a long time, you're slow. But if your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.…
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    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…
  • fishing1

    Fishing Trip

    "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip…
  • picture of a car crash

    More Insurance Claims

    "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." "I pulled…
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    What's it Take?

    "What do you have to do to become a doctor?" my six-year-old granddaughter once asked.Her…
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    Who's the Boss?

    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
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    Executive Approval

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Reindeer Gender

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer…
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    Five Tech Replies

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…
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    You Know You Are Over the Hill When

    1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music. 2. You're sitting on a park bench…
  • The Seniors' Serenity Prayer

    Serenity for Seniors

    God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to…

cookingMartha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up"

My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's just too bad. My motto is, I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.

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Martha's way: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.

My way: Eat out every night and avoid cooking.

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Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

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Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?

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Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

My way: Buy the lemon or lime juice that is in the little plastic lemon or lime.

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Martha's way: Now look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer.

*Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

*Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

*Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

*Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

My way: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once.

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