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More Jokes

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    Bad Sign

    A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the…
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    Good Old Days

    Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in…
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    Ships Passing

    A rather old minesweeper was cruising a lonely stretch of the South Pacific and was…
  • horse race

    Worst Horse Ever

    A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The…
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    Vacuum Persuasion

    My sister has the courage--but not always the skills--to tackle any home-repair…
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    Army Nurse Training

    During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were required to spend one week in the…
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    Live to 100

    When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of…
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    Impressive Dinner

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    Bare Bones Moving

    The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping…
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    Zoo Sign

    Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the…
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    You're not a kid anymore when....

    You're not a kid anymore when....1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.2.…
  • cemetary

    Mail Problems

    Thanks to Kim Harding for day's real life laugh from her family. Dear Pastor Tim, This is…
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    The Patch

    During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his…
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    Laundry Comments

    A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating…
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    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…

cookingMartha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up"

My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's just too bad. My motto is, I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.

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Martha's way: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.

My way: Eat out every night and avoid cooking.

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Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

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Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?

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Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

My way: Buy the lemon or lime juice that is in the little plastic lemon or lime.

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Martha's way: Now look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer.

*Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

*Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

*Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

*Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

My way: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once.

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