logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    English Errors

    English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than…
  • Default Image

    Shades of Tanning

    Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights so long that…
  • Default Image

    Theories Of Cat Behavior

    Theories Of Cat BehaviorLAW OF CAT INERTIAA cat at rest will tend to remain at rest,…
  • Default Image

    Password Problems

    A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her…
  • Default Image

    Know Your Friends

    One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an…
  • university

    School Recommendation

    When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed…
  • pedestrian pictogram

    Walking Out

    "I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an embarrassed woman said after a church…
  • Default Image

    Cat Joke

    A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him…
  • Default Image

    In Need of Prayer

    A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to…
  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    Romantic Switch

    Although he had packed his bag for a business trip the night before, my husband planned…
  • Default Image

    Optomist's Hunting Dog

    Friends, one an optimist and the other a pessimist could never quite agree on any topic…
  • Default Image

    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
  • Default Image

    10 Easy Ways To Say No

    I'd love to, but...1 I have to floss my cat.2 I've dedicated my life to linguini.3 I want…
  • Default Image

    Lost Ball

    My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18…

ice cream2Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone. For Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

~*~

Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds.  The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.

~*~

Martha's way #3: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

My way: Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and box springs.

~*~

Martha's way #4: Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.

My way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers.

~*~

Martha's way #5: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

~*~

Martha's way #6: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

My way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

~*~

Martha's way #7: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

My way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it.

~*~

Martha's way #8: Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it.

My Way: Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"?

~*~

Martha's way #9: When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness.

My Way: The only kind of corn I buy comes in a can.

~*~

Martha's way #10: To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water.  If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw it away.

My way: Eat, cook, or use the egg anyway.  If you feel bad later, you will know it wasn't fresh.

~*~

Martha's way #11: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore. Now you are blind.

~*~

Martha's way #12: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish-washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

My way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

~*~

Martha's way #13: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.

My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the antibacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink.

Powered By JFBConnect