More Jokes

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    Goober Guess

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    Interactive Weather

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    Pain Management

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    Talking Surprise

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    Knowing the Numbers

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    Laws of Parenting

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    No Horns

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    Dental Mommy

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    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
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    Signs of Banned Substances

    Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:Gets "psyched" before each competition…
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    10 Questions

    Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who…
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    Lunch On The Bank

    A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve…
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    Keyboard Jockey Exercise

    For those keyboard jockeys (those with jobs that require sitting at a computer all day)…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…

*Martha's Way Vs. My Way*

Martha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up"

My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's just too bad.

My motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.

Martha's way: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.

My way: Eat out every night and avoid cooking.

Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?

Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

My way: Buy the lemon or lime juice that is in the little plastic lemon or lime.

Martha's way: Now look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer.

*Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

*Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

*Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

*Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

My way: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once.

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