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More Jokes

  • A Picture of a stack of books

    Back To School

    After raising 4 kids, and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the…
  • picture of for rent sign

    Excerpts From Actual Letters Sent To Landlords

    1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared." 2. "This…
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    More Bulletin Bloopers

    Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which…
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    Happy Birthday Elsie

    I play pinochle regularly with seven other women, most of whom are 70 or older. Recently…
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    Thoughts on Golfing

    A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can…
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    Signs of Banned Substances

    Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:Gets "psyched" before each competition…
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    Ironic Phone Call

    A guy showed up at church with both of his ears burned. His chum asked, "what happened to…
  • Mount Union College Ohio

    Medieval History

    My friend, an American history professor at Mount Union College in Ohio, was asked to…
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    Pain Management

    My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain…
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    The End is Near

    A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The…
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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
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    Sermon Interpretation

    One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. Her…
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    Hawaii Pronunciation

    Morris and his wife Sherry were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument. "It's…
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    Deacon's Minutes

    The newly elected secretary for the Deacon Board at church submitted this report:October…
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    Lobster Tails

    A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and…

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.  As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Jag.  The counsellor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialled 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.  His Jag, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again, etc., etc., etc.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.  "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.  "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Didn't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down?  It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"Oh No!" screamed the lawyer.  "Where's my Rolex?"

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