logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Cinderella Question

    The tax accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter…
  • Default Image

    Thanks

    A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an…
  • Default Image

    The Perfect Worker

    From a reference letter . . . 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2…
  • Default Image

    Corporate Can-Do

    Programmer to Team Leader:"We can't do this proposed project. **CAN NOT** It will involve…
  • man old1

    Grandpa Cut Up

    Many years ago, a grandfather bought a hobby horse by mail order as a birthday present…
  • Default Image

    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…
  • Default Image

    Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

    *Ten Things A Cat Thinks About*1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.2. Is there…
  • Default Image

    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
  • burger

    Burger Change

    I had just finished visiting a friend in the hospital and stopped by a burger…
  • Picture of a teacher

    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
  • Default Image

    Chicken Recovery

    A farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had…
  • Default Image

    Fatherly Chat

    A young woman brings home her fiancĂ© to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells…
  • Default Image

    Millionaire's Driver

    Millionaire: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Millionaire: I always call my…
  • Default Image

    More Church Bulletin Bloopers

    Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial…
  • Default Image

    Reindeer Gender

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer…

Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.  But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brusque, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50.  None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.  A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things.  A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda.  Then he goes grocery shopping.
He buys everything that looks good.  By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies.  Of course, this will not stop him from going to the10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers.  She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks.  When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes.  Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.  A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats.  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.  A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days.  A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry.  When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat.  Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat.  This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING: Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favourite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Powered By JFBConnect