logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Landing in the Fog

    An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically…
  • Default Image

    Navajo Wisdom

    About 1969 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts…
  • Default Image

    Environ-mental

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
  • Default Image

    Possessed Computer?

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers…
  • parrot

    Auction Parrot

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
  • Default Image

    Shower or Tub

    New Englanders are known for their dry wit and logic.Once in Martha's Vineyard a hotel…
  • Default Image

    Going to Disneyworld

    "Hey Grandpa!, can you make a noise like a frog?""I think I can do that. Why?""'Cuz Dad…
  • Default Image

    Cure For Lateness

    Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work.…
  • picture or an Irish Setter

    Mind Games For Dogs

    From the dog manual on how to mess with the minds of your humans. 1. After your humans…
  • Default Image

    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
  • university

    Good Morning

    When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When…
  • Default Image

    Chicken Answers

    Before you get to today‚Äôs supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number…
  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
  • Default Image

    Whispering In Church

    A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I…

Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.  But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brusque, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50.  None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.  A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things.  A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda.  Then he goes grocery shopping.
He buys everything that looks good.  By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies.  Of course, this will not stop him from going to the10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers.  She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks.  When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes.  Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.  A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats.  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.  A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days.  A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry.  When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat.  Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat.  This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING: Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favourite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Powered By JFBConnect