logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Kid Comments

    * A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth ?"One lil' girl spoke up:…
  • Default Image

    Paid To Worry

    Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he…
  • Default Image

    Employment History

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…
  • Default Image

    Goober Catch

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Record Store

    A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home…
  • Default Image

    Rain or Shine

    It was raining quite hard as U.S. Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a…
  • Default Image

    Hitchhiker Problem

    John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker.As they rode along he…
  • businessman blamed for long speech

    20 Minutes of Eternity

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his…
  • Default Image

    "R" Troubles

    A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other…
  • Default Image

    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
  • Default Image

    Hans Olaffsen's Laundry

    Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants,…
  • Default Image

    Hot Fishing Spot

    Two goobers go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st goober: I…
  • Default Image

    Things Overheard on Noah's Ark

    10. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?"9. "Hey, there are more than…
  • Default Image

    Busted

    He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family…
  • Default Image

    Committee Praise

    The new pastor was winding down the service. In the back of the church, the fellowship…

Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.  But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brusque, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50.  None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.  A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things.  A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda.  Then he goes grocery shopping.
He buys everything that looks good.  By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies.  Of course, this will not stop him from going to the10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers.  She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks.  When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes.  Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.  A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats.  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.  A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days.  A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry.  When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat.  Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat.  This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING: Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favourite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Powered By JFBConnect