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    Birthday Heart Attack

    Realizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to…
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    Gift Parrot

    There was a man who travelled all around the world.Every city he stopped in he would buy…
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    Big Toe Tingle

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Bungee Jumping

    Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the…
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    Vice President of Peas

    Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and…
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    Will To Remember

    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To…
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    Thoughts On Genealogy

    *Thoughts On Genealogy*~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my…
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    Reasons You Should Buy a New Car

    Reasons You Should Buy a New Car:- Your passenger seat is on the National Register of…
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    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
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    Dog Breeding Made Absurd

    ~ Pointer + Setter = Pointsetter, a traditional Christmas pet ~ Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye…
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    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
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    Directions

    A friend was thinking about buying a new house in the country and asked me to come out…
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    Hearing Problems

    An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the…
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    Jar 47

    A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed…
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    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…

1.  How Dogs and Men Are the Same

Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both are bad at asking you questions
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Neither does any dishes.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.

2.  How Dogs Are Better Than Men

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs are colour-blind.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

3.  Where Dogs Fall Down

Men only have two feet that track in mud.
Men can buy you presents.
Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
Dogs have dog breath all the time.
Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.

4.  Why Dogs are Better than Women

Dogs don't ask what are you thinking.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs love red meat.
Dogs don't shop.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

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