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    39 And Holding

    A young child asked a woman how old she was. She answered, "39 and holding." The child…
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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…
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    Shhhhhh!

    A father had three very active boys. One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    ID Card

    The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a…
  • baseball

    Fly Catch

    My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los Angeles Dodgers…
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    Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies

    1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to…
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    No Matter What

    Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they…
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    Noisy Neighbors

    A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors. "They started to jump up and…
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    The Night Before Finals

    'Twas the night before finals,And all through the college,The students were prayingFor…
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    NRA Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…
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    Top 17 Inspirational Messages Not Heard at Work

    (17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up". (16) If you do…
  • cooking

    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Lariat Training

    More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to…

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

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