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    Suitor Approval

    A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date,…
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    Microsoft TV Dinner

    Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing…
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    Parking Concern

    While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.As I was lying…
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    10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

    10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
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    Education At Work

    "What's the usual tip?" a man growled when, Jason, a college student delivered his pizza.…
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    Clunker Leak

    As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One…
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    Tendjewberrymud

    Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...... Read…
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    Cow Horns

    "Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city on…
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    Cat Sitting

    One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

    Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not…
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    Doily Box

    As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near…
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    True Calls to the IRS

    True Calls to the IRSCaller: I want to know if I should file married or single.IRS: Are…
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    Crossing Lesson

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    Marine Comeback

    During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from…

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

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