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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Hasty Departure

    A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given…
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    Actual Call Center Conversations

    Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries.…
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    Vacation Term Translation

    *Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation…
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    Dangerous Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, "Danger! Beware…
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    Handy Gadget

    After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time,…
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    Shades of Tanning

    Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights so long that…
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    Dead Faint

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.…
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    Farmer Joe & Bessie

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the…
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    Unwritten Warning Labels

    *Unwritten Warning Labels*On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive…
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    Break Even

    Two men are in a bank when armed robbers break in.One robber rushes the teller windows,…
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    In the Dorm

    In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights: dousing and…
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    English Errors

    English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than…
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    Home Early

    Little Dewey burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised, his mother…

Methuselah ate what he found on his plate

And never, as people do now

Did he note the amount of the calorie count

He ate it because it was chow.

He wasn't disturbed as at dinner he sat

Devouring a roast or a pie

To think it was lacking the right kind of fat

Or a couple of vitamins shy.

He cheerfully chewed each species of food

Unmindful of troubles or fears

Lest his health might be hurt

By some fancy dessert

And he lived more than 900 years!

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