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More Jokes

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    Lawyer News

    "I have good news and bad news," the defence attorney told his client. "First the bad…
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    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
  • Hiccup Joke

    Hiccups Cure

    A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out,…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Norma Findlay in Room 302

    A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael's Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible…
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    Food, Family and Philosophy

    Gary is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Psychology Course

    During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course…
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    Rescue Mom

    My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his…
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    Home Early

    Little Dewey burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised, his mother…
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    Two Kids

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Coffee, No Cream

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Professor Turns Plumber

    A professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home leaked. He called a…
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    Swindled

    A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it.…
  • campsite

    A Father's Method

    A loaded SUV pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leapt from the…

*Military Wisdom*

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."

-Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"Aim towards the Enemy."

-Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."

-U.S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."

-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

-Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."

-U.S. Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."

-Gen. MacArthur

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."

-Infantry Journal

"You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me."

-U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways."

-U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five second fuses only last three seconds."

-Infantry Journal

"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything."

-U. S Navy Swabbie

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."

-David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."

-Infantry Journal

"No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection."

-Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." -Anon

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."

-Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."

-Your Buddies

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."

-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

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