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    Funeral Music

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…
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    Scout's Letter Home

    Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on…
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    Supermarket Saavy

    One day my brother-in-law noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing a cart through the…
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    Retirement Savings

    Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Car Fire

    I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames…
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    Missed Cues

    This actually happend to CLeanLaugh list member Nila Wilhem. She writes, "Several years…
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    Jeep Stuck

    During training exercises, the green lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road. He…
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    Civil War Re-enactment

    Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's…
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    Card Reader Instructions

    Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe…
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    Animal Superbowl

    During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals…
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    Dalmation Role

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a…
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    Why Ask Why

    *Why Ask Why*Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and…
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    Politically Correct Cat Terms

    Politically correct terms for cat owners: - My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a…
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    Mistakes

    If a barber makes a mistake,It's a new style... If a driver makes a mistake,It is an…

To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay.

"Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?"

The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired two years ago!"

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