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More Jokes

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    Mummy Shock

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus…
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    Inspector Mom

    Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived in Iraq?…
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    Collect Call

    My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.During a break, she decided to…
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    Perfect

    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a…
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    Application

    An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you…
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    Late Night Studying

    My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend…
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    Efficiency

    An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try…
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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
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    Driving Worries

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Surgeon Roast

    Harry hosted a dinner party. One of his guests was a surgeon. While deftly carving the…
  • pharmacist

    Food Allergy

    Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician. I was…
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    Census Taker

    An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

    1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down…
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    Ungrateful Son-In-Law

    A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter,…

To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay.

"Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?"

The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired two years ago!"

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