More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Grandpa And The Computer

    *Grandpa And The Computer*The computer swallowed GrandpaYes honestly, its true.He pressed…
  • Default Image

    Cow Legs

    Did you hear of the little boy who came home from kindergarten with a blue ribbon. When…
  • Default Image

    Where'd we get him?

    Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we…
  • Default Image

    Heat Wave Humor

    Nothing personal against Texans - change it to any place that is hot. "It's So Hot In…
  • parrot

    Bilingual Parrot

    This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string…
  • Default Image

    Carrier Landings

    Any naval aviator will tell you that landing a plane on an aircraft carrier is THE most…
  • Default Image

    Hi Tech Watch

    A man is at Grand Central Station waiting for his train which leaves at 6:00 PM but he…
  • coffee cup

    Clean Cup

    Bill and Doug went into a diner that looked as though it had seen better days. As they…
  • Default Image

    A Few Fishing Definitions

    HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to…
  • Default Image

    Safe Keeping

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
  • Default Image

    Measuring Hunger

    The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their…
  • usa map

    Mr. Jones Is History

    Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from…
  • Default Image

    Dining In

    My husband and I both work, so our family eats out a lot.Recently, when we were having a…
  • Default Image

    Hot Fishing Spot

    Two goobers go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st goober: I…
  • Default Image

    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…

milkThese notes left for milkmen came from the UK, so you'll notice a slight, endearing British ambiance to them.

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."

"Cancel one pint after the day after today."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

"Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today."

"Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."

"When you leave my milk, knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress."

"Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?"

"My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."

"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."

"Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant."

"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

"My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."

"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."

"When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk."

"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."

Powered By JFBConnect