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    Missed Delivery

    Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So, when one irate…
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    Reap What You Sow

    Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture…
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    Just Like Mother

    Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny…
  • A boy's perspective

    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
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    A Simple Explanation of Baseball

    This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends…
  • bear

    I Want To Be A Bear

    I want to be a bear...... If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but…
  • picture of seeing eye dog

    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
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    Parts Search

    I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his…
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    Stolen Turkey

    Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I…
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    Dead Politicians

    A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught…
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    That's It

    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece…
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    Car Cow Sale

    A farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a…
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    Penguin Breakdown

    There was this truck driver who had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As…
  • classroom

    Divy It Up

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her…
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    What is This?

    A Rabbi, a Priest and a Salvation Army pastor walk into a bar.The bartender says to them,…

GOOBERS AT WORK - I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.  So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt.  As luck would have it, they matched.

GOOBERS & GEOGRAPHY - After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.  My boss said, "Really?  Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.  He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

ADVICE FOR GOOBERS - An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."

GOOBERS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD - I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

GOOBERS & COMPUTERS - My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.  Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.  One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.  Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

GOOBERS ARE EASY TO PLEASE - I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year.
My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping.  I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

GOOBERS IN FOOD SERVICE - My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

A GOOBER'S GOOBER - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling a lie.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

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