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More Jokes

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    Sister Cheer Up

    My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening…
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    Do As I Say!

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    How To Please Your I.T. Department

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    First Grade Proverbs

    A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class…
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    Learned From a Snowman

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    Talking Horse

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    The Perfect Church Design

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    You're Not A Monk

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    Musings

    * A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.My desk is my…
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    Don't Repeat

    My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man.…
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    W-a-i-t-i-n-g

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was…
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    Jean Squeeze

    A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed into a…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
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    Today I didn't Do It

    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three…
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    14 Letters

    Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence…

GOOBERS AT WORK - I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.  So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt.  As luck would have it, they matched.

GOOBERS & GEOGRAPHY - After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.  My boss said, "Really?  Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.  He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

ADVICE FOR GOOBERS - An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."

GOOBERS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD - I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

GOOBERS & COMPUTERS - My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.  Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.  One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.  Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

GOOBERS ARE EASY TO PLEASE - I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year.
My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping.  I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

GOOBERS IN FOOD SERVICE - My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

A GOOBER'S GOOBER - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling a lie.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

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