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    Time Travel

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…
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    Extra Languages

    A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two guys are waiting.…
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    Tips On Love

    *Tips On Love From Those That Should Know*(all questions were answered by kids, age…
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    Sermon Overtime

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    10 Questions

    Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who…
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    Pastor To The Rescue

    There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one…
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    Kids Off Track

    Kids statements that are a little... off track:* God bless America thru the night with a…
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    What is Marketing?

    What is Marketing?You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am…
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    Census Taker

    An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in…
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    Anti Stress Diet

    This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that…
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    Get Me Out

    My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest…
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    Plus or Minus One

    In a contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a…
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    18 Wheeler

    There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the…
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    Refueling

    Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the…
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    Goober Stewardess

    An airline captain was breaking in a new goober stewardess. The route they were flying…

GOOBERS AT WORK - I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.  So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt.  As luck would have it, they matched.

GOOBERS & GEOGRAPHY - After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.  My boss said, "Really?  Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.  He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

ADVICE FOR GOOBERS - An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."

GOOBERS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD - I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

GOOBERS & COMPUTERS - My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.  Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.  One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.  Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

GOOBERS ARE EASY TO PLEASE - I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year.
My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping.  I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

GOOBERS IN FOOD SERVICE - My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

A GOOBER'S GOOBER - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling a lie.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

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