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  • college Mount Union College Ohio

    Daughter In College

    Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay…
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    Testimony Night

    It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked…
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    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
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    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…
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    Kitchen Help

    The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and…
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    Making Babies

    A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We…
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    Car Fire

    I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames…
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    Paper View

    I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my…
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    Ignored Phone

    The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
  • Doctor helps wife with husband's snoring

    Financing Surgery

    A woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So, she called the doctor one…
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    Mother's Intuition

    I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a…
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    First Grade Proverbs

    A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class…
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    Largest Amphibious Assault

    I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What…

GOOBERS AT WORK - I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.  So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt.  As luck would have it, they matched.

GOOBERS & GEOGRAPHY - After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.  My boss said, "Really?  Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.  He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

ADVICE FOR GOOBERS - An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."

GOOBERS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD - I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

GOOBERS & COMPUTERS - My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.  Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.  One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.  Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

GOOBERS ARE EASY TO PLEASE - I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year.
My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping.  I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

GOOBERS IN FOOD SERVICE - My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

A GOOBER'S GOOBER - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling a lie.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

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