logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Modern Day Proverbs

ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night.

ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane".  If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?

ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

ON PROBLEM SOLVING When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.-Abraham Maslow ON INFINITY If you had everything, where would you keep it?

ON ECONOMICS The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING "I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."

English Professor, Ohio University ON REVISIONIST HISTORY What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

ON DATING When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.

ON LAMENTATION Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

ON POETIC LOVE When you're swimmin' in the creek And an eel bites your cheek That's a moray!

Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers ON MODERNISM Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  A: Two.  One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine tools.

ON MATERIAL SCIENCE Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.

ON LITERATURE This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.  It should be thrown with great force.

Dorothy Parker ON HUMILITY To err is human, to moo bovine.

ON EXPLANATION OF THE END "...  one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs." --

Robert Firth ON EXCUSES I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.

Joe Walsh ON NUMBERS Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values of 2.

ON WORLD POLITICS Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Prescription Labels

    A pharmacy major was taking a course in Dispensing. One day they were discussing the…
  • Default Image

    Air Boss

    Activated from the Army Reserves for a joint service Arctic exercise, I was assigned to…
  • Default Image

    Baby Help

    Nancy's nephew was 4 when she was pregnant with her first kid. She allowed him to place…
  • Default Image

    Computer Cup Holder

    A friend of mine was on the phone with a tech rep from another company. That tech rep…
  • Default Image

    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of "yes/no"…
  • Default Image

    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
  • Default Image

    Bob's MG

    I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS…
  • doctor5

    Simple Operation

    A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's…
  • Default Image

    Doctor Keeps Trying

    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor…
  • Default Image

    Jury Excuse

    "Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking…
  • Default Image

    Sunday Paper

    "Where's my Sunday paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly…
  • Default Image

    Creative Duelling

    In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor…
  • Default Image

    ID Card

    The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a…
  • Default Image

    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
  • hand sand

    Gravity Situation

    I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is…