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    Art Interpretation

    Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a…
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    Tired of Rejection?

    Tired of being rejected for jobs - maybe this form letter will come in handy. Dear…
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    Dog Rules

    Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a Yard To Protect NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
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    Materialistic Or What?

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to…
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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    Cheap Gas

    When the car engine developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had…
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    Card Cover Up

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The…
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    Cave Soliciting

    Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing.…
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    Brotherly Chores

    Drew and Timmy were brothers. One day Mom and Dad had to go into town. Dad told Drew,…
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    Traffic Laughs

    * Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place…
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    Best Man

    A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats…
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    Work Phrases Explained

    *Work Phrases Explained*Activate:To make carbons and add more names to the memo.Advanced…
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    Tourism Promotion

    Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this…
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    Offended Goober

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…

ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night.

ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane".  If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?

ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

ON PROBLEM SOLVING When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.-Abraham Maslow ON INFINITY If you had everything, where would you keep it?

ON ECONOMICS The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING "I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."

English Professor, Ohio University ON REVISIONIST HISTORY What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

ON DATING When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.

ON LAMENTATION Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

ON POETIC LOVE When you're swimmin' in the creek And an eel bites your cheek That's a moray!

Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers ON MODERNISM Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  A: Two.  One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine tools.

ON MATERIAL SCIENCE Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.

ON LITERATURE This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.  It should be thrown with great force.

Dorothy Parker ON HUMILITY To err is human, to moo bovine.

ON EXPLANATION OF THE END "...  one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs." --

Robert Firth ON EXCUSES I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.

Joe Walsh ON NUMBERS Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values of 2.

ON WORLD POLITICS Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

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