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    Addicted to Thinking

    It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up.…
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    Something Nice For Dad

    Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his…
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    Amateur Photographer

    An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends, and he took along a few…
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    Better Preaching

    After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, "You were much better…
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    Career Cooling

    Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My…
  • high tea

    Two Teas

    1st customer: I'll have tea. 2nd customer: Me, too. And be sure the cup is clean! (The…
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    Life After Death

    "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir."…
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    Actual Signs

    Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you…
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    Legal Contracts

    The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to…
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    Second Opinion 2

    A man has not been feeling well and goes to the doctor for a check up. After the physical…
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    One-liners

    1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.2. Make yourself at home! Clean my…
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    Lawyer Son

    When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her Ability to answer the…
  • Picture of Pulled Over By Police Car

    Ticketing Mom?

    Thanks to Kathy Edwards for submitting this true story. She wrote, "Pastor Tim, This…
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    Exercise

    - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.- I…
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    Pet Names

    Bernie was invited to his ageing friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded…

workshopHammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

Halogen Light - A work-light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

Cell Phone - The handyman's 911.

Chain Saw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice.

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