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    Spin the Bottle

    "We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it…
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    Gravity Situation

    I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is…
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    Thoughtful Sidney

    Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a…
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    Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation

    Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday…
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    Astronomers Declare February No Longer a Month

    Emboldened by their success in declaring Pluto not a planet, the International…
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    Stolen Truck

    The young goober came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Jake, somebody just…
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    Absent Minded Professor

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded…
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    Grandma and Computer

    The computer's swallowed grandmaYes' honestly' its true.She pressed 'control' and…
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    Got Any Crackers

    A duck walks into a bar and asks "Got any crackers? "Bartender says no.Duck walks…
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    Price of Oranges

    Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the…
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    Goober Travel Times

    A Goober gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and…
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    Blizzard Police

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman,…
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    Economics Exam

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
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    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
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    Have More Fun at Church

    After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've…

workshopHammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

Halogen Light - A work-light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

Cell Phone - The handyman's 911.

Chain Saw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice.

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