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    Sheriff Vet

    The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang,…
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    A Touch of Home

    Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home…
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    Dangling Participles

    Dangling Participle Alert!~ The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy…
  • ambulance

    Does That Hurt

    We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with…
  • officer navy

    Wedding Pass

    A friend of mine joined the Navy and soon after had to attend a wedding. He asked an…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
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    Family Picnic

    The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The pump attendant…
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    Moon Cheese

    For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.Then the astronauts found…
  • picture of a hot pepper

    Pepper Advice

    When chopping a hot pepper... 1. Do NOT rub your nose... and if you do and it starts to…
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    Put or Putt?

    A teacher was taking her first golf lesson."Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she…
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    Morning Pills

    This morning, before I had my first cup of coffee and chased the cob webs from my brain,…
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    A Few Fishing Definitions

    HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to…
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    Lost Balloon

    A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots…
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    Top Ten Gift Comments

    What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.10. "Well, well, well, now,…
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    Norma Findlay in Room 302

    A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael's Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible…

workshopHammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

Halogen Light - A work-light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

Cell Phone - The handyman's 911.

Chain Saw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice.

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