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    One Room School

    The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room…
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    Going to Disneyworld

    "Hey Grandpa!, can you make a noise like a frog?""I think I can do that. Why?""'Cuz Dad…
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    Bathroom Instructions

    On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the…
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    Better Grades

    The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite…
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    Dayvorce

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney…
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    Surgery Headache

    A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump…
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    Flower Request

    "I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you…
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    Three-Sixty 727

    The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a…
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    A Bear, a Lion and a Pig

    A bear, a lion, and a pig meet. I know what your thinking they eat the PIG...NOThe bear…
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    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Locked Out

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Carrier Landings

    Any naval aviator will tell you that landing a plane on an aircraft carrier is THE most…
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    First Case Tried

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so…
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    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary

    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary:Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am…
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    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…

workshopHammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

Halogen Light - A work-light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

Cell Phone - The handyman's 911.

Chain Saw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice.

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