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  • mother and daughter2

    Mom Wonder

    A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like. She said, "We used…
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    Free Will

    A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form.…
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    Tips On Love

    *Tips On Love From Those That Should Know*(all questions were answered by kids, age…
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    Social Showdown

    Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a…
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    Tired Son

    A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back…
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    Rich Uncle

    Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancée about my…
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    The Night of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
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    Bank Arrangements

    Who knows if this is true. Just the same, it's funny!I am told that a 98-year-old woman…
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    Special Message

    "Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in…
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    Dayvorce

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney…
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    Ammunition Substantiation

    An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter…
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    Jury Duty Prejudice

    A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He…
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    Lost In The Translation

    Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of…
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    The Haircut

    A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister,…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a horse with him to add to…

workshopHammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

Halogen Light - A work-light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

Cell Phone - The handyman's 911.

Chain Saw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice.

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