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  • self defense

    Self Defense

    During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the…
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    Keyboard Switch

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers…
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    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…
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    Toilet Repair

    Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
  • pond

    Wet Clothes

    Cassie was a really good mom. When her children were growing up, her one son gave her…
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    Saintly Sons

    Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He…
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    Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children

    Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    Environ-mental

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
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    Check that Address!

    Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He…
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    Dog Calls

    Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty…
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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…
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    Why ask Why?

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why…
Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, "This little plane won't lift all of us, the equipment, and both of those animals.
You?ll have to leave one. We'd never make it over the trees on the take off."

"That's baloney", says one of the hunters.

"Yeah," the other agrees, "you're just chicken: we came out here last year and got two moose and that pilot had some guts: He wasn't afraid to take off!"

"Yeah", said the first hunter, "and his plane wasn't any bigger than yours!"

The pilot got angry, and said, "If he did it, then I can do it. I can fly as well as anybody!" They loaded up, taxied at full throttle, and the plane almost made it, but didn't have the lift to clear the trees at the end of the lake. It clipped the tops, then flipped, then broke up, scattering the baggage, animal carcasses, and passengers all through the brush.

Still alive, but hurt and dazed, the pilot sat up, shook his head to clear it, and said, "Where are we?"

One of the hunters rolled out from being thrown into a bush, looked around, and said, "I'd say about a hundred yards further than last year."
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