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More Bumper Stickers

picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar* FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.

* I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.

* I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was, "Always".

* What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

* Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?

* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

* If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

* To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.... ....or is it?

* Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

* I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. She gets mad if I interrupt her.

* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

* A closed mouth gathers no foot.

* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

* Where there's smoke, there's dinner.

More Jokes

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    Vulgar Parrot

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    Clothes Hamper

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    Spelling Bee Confusing

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    Marine Mines

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    Paul Top Ten

    TOP TEN THINGS THE APOSTLE PAUL WOULD HAVE DONE IF HE HAD A PC10. Download MP3's of the…
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    Ready, Set, Go

    Two campers, Chris and Michael, are awakened by the sounds of an obviously large bear…
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    Giuseppe Spomdalucci

    To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After…
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    Pull Over Cookies

    Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Canada, I was stopped by a state trooper…
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    Perspective

    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…
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    You Need A New Car When

    You need a new car when ... - You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops…
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    Shopping On Up

    In a upscale department store, every night at closing time one of our customer-service…
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    10 Minutes Alone

    After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front…
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    New Pope

    A high school history teacher was discussing the funeral of the Pope with his class. One…
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    Thanksgiving Grace

    My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were…
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    Dad Sayings

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…