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More Jokes

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    Leaky Roof

    Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a…
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    New Russian

    I just returned from a mission trip in Belarus, where we were building churches. My…
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    Sugar Worry

    A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and…
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    The French Legionnaires

    There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from…
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    Bridge Fishing

    Two Goobers notice a couple of guys by a bridge.The one guy drops over the bridge being…
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    Pick a Hymn

    One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and…
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    Electrical Officer

    My daughter is an electrical officer on a carrier. Recently I asked her what her duties…
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    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…
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    Computer Career

    Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My…
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    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Withheld Pay

    After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a…
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    Ways To Drive A Man Crazy

    ~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. ~ Organize his workshop,…
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    Bear Flight

    During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman…
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    Eyes Gone

    Yesterday I went to the opticians, walked up to the counter and said to the guy on duty,…

picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar* FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.

* I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.

* I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was, "Always".

* What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

* Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?

* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

* If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

* To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.... ....or is it?

* Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

* I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. She gets mad if I interrupt her.

* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

* A closed mouth gathers no foot.

* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

* Where there's smoke, there's dinner.

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