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    Thoughts On Genealogy

    *Thoughts On Genealogy*~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my…
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    Password Problems

    A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Where did I come from?

    One day our Little niece Rita went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come…
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    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
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    Store Safety

    While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker…
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    Cinnamon Rolls

    At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at…
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    12 Reasons to be Thankful You Burned the Turkey

    1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.…
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    20 Like You

    A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish…
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    Queen Size

    A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking…
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    Wills Explained

    I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the…
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    Cute Nurses

    My nursing colleague was preparing an intravenous line for a 15-year-old male patient.…
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    "Brake Down"

    My boss' wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable…
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    Rodentially Clean

    Johnny, age 5, was being taught to be neat and clean and to pick up after himself. One…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…

picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar* FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.

* I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.

* I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was, "Always".

* What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

* Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?

* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

* If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

* To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.... ....or is it?

* Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

* I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. She gets mad if I interrupt her.

* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

* A closed mouth gathers no foot.

* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

* Where there's smoke, there's dinner.

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