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More Jokes

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    Construction Noise

    During a beautiful spring afternoon, I was attending a music festival. Just as I stopped…
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    Referrals

    When our local doctor began attending church services the minister was delighted, and it…
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    Kids' Kitchen Terms

    Kids' Kitchen TermsBOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck"…
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    No Hero of Mine

    "King David used to be a hero of mine, but not anymore," little Brodie told his mother…
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    Soft Seven

    A young man is paired up with a priest on the first hole at the golf course. When they…
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    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
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    Mom's Time Out

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was…
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    Picnic Passions

    A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old…
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    Apology

    Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop:"Give me four of those pinwheels, two of…
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    Baseball Basics

    At one point during a game, the baseball coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
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    Losing Load

    A trucker stops for red light and a goober girl catches up. She knocks on the door and…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home…
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    Put or Putt?

    A teacher was taking her first golf lesson."Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she…
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    Real Newspaper Ads

    These are real ads from a newspaper. 1. 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850 or best offer 2.…
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    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line

    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line Calls Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny…

picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar* FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.

* I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.

* I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was, "Always".

* What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

* Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?

* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

* If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

* To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.... ....or is it?

* Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

* I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. She gets mad if I interrupt her.

* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

* A closed mouth gathers no foot.

* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

* Where there's smoke, there's dinner.

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