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More Jokes

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    Favorite Flower

    While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the…
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    Miracle Return

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
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    Visiting Oxford

    An guy was visiting Oxford University for the first time. He stopped a passing Oxford don…
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    Clergy Crowd Control

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Arguing

    The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…
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    Lock Jaw

    In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian.…
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    Lobster Pets

    After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two…
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    Thanksgiving Blessing

    May your stuffing be tasty, May your holiday turkey be plump, May your potatoes ‘n gravy…
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    Convenient Robbery

    Tim and Bill were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered the lobby. Not only…
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    Murphy's Laws for Parents

    1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week. 2. Leak proof…
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    Bystander

    Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…
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    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
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    The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

    A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at…
  • showerhead

    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…

picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar* FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.

* I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.

* I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was, "Always".

* What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

* Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?

* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

* If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

* To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.... ....or is it?

* Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

* I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. She gets mad if I interrupt her.

* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

* A closed mouth gathers no foot.

* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

* Where there's smoke, there's dinner.

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