More Jokes

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    Seen in the Cafeteria

    At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend. He…
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    He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family…
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    Banking Woes

    The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial…
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    General Motors Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    12 Reasons to Buy a New Car

    1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.2. Instead of an…
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    Speeding Hymns

    If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:at 45 mph.... "God Will Take…
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    Science Quotes from Kids - Part 2

    ~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon…
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    A Brother Names the Babies

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C., (whose husband was out of the country) gets in a…
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    Evangelist Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One…
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    Four Letter Surgery

    Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling."I'm ok but…
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    Sick Day

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a…
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    Father, Mother and their 3 sons, John (the oldest), Mike (middle) and Steve (youngest)…
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    Noise Abatement

    "Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise…
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    Threatening Letters

    The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening…
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    10 Minutes Alone

    After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front…

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown

"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- FranLebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.  They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

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