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    Sarahella

    After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn

    1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.2.…
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    Cadet Sign

    When my brother was a cadet at the U.S. Air Force Academy, there was an overhead walkway…
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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
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    Translation Please

    A French guest, staying in a American hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black…
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    Maine Vets

    Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one…
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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    What's for Dinner?

    What's for dinner? Can't eat beef......mad cowCan't eat chicken...... bird fluCan't eat…
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    Pastor Jim's Bungee Jump

    Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas. He…
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    Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

    *Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick…
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    Zookeeper's Dilemma

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a…
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    Cafeteria Sign

    Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Flower Switch

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown

"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- FranLebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.  They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

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