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More Jokes

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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    Knee Tattoo

    A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master chief petty officer out…
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    Overdue Rent

    Walpole had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings…
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    Driving Around

    I tell you, men drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on Highway…
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    The Grandma Test

    I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter. She picked up something off the…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    The Internet Pledge

    Are you BRAVE enough to take the Internet pledge!!1) I will have a cup of coffee in the…
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    Neighborhood Explosion

    The whole neighborhood shook from the explosion. As shopkeepers ran outside to see what…
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    Late Excuse

    Harry came into the office an hour late for the third time in a week. "What's the story…
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    Military Intials

    When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary…
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    Internet Cleaning

    As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to…
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    Three Day Silence

    My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what…
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    Card Cover Up

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card.The…
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    New Boater

    This past summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of…
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    Raise Request

    Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want…

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown

"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- FranLebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.  They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

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