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More Jokes

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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
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    Need a Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over…
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    Late For Church

    A young girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday…
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    Best Guide

    I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into.His party became hopelessly…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
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    Golf Meditations

    If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.…
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    No More Gators

    While sports fishing off Melbourne Beach, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but…
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    Dog Report

    Craig's two kids are in the same class at school, and the teacher had the class write…
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    Raise Request

    Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want…
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    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…
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    Engine Failure

    Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,…
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    Who's Your Daddy?

    While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother…
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    Wake Up Call

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Kidnapped

    Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officers…
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    Goober Flight Lesson

    A goober went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all…

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown

"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- FranLebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.  They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

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