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More Jokes

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    Corporate Can-Do

    Programmer to Team Leader:"We can't do this proposed project. **CAN NOT** It will involve…
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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
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    Pastor Jim's Bungee Jump

    Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas. He…
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    New Car

    The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of…
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    Truth About Children

    Truth About Children: - A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - A…
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    Not-So-Bright People

    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual…
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    Analogies and Metaphors

    These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had…
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    Prenatal Visit

    A couple was making their first visit to Dr. Mike Wilson prior to the birth of their…
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    Vacation Term Translation

    *Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation…
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    Give It A Try

    Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. Keep going!…
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    No Pets Allowed

    Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a…
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    Landing in the Fog

    An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically…
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    Horse Woes

    Two cowboy friends, Wally and Dallas, each bought a horse one summer. They enjoyed riding…
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    Mr. Sugarbrown's Daughter

    A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."…
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    Late For Church

    A young girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday…

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown

"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- FranLebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.  They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

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