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More Jokes

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    Watch Your Hat and Overcoat

    The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."Meyer…
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    Dewey Check

    I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack."Where's…
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    Evil Brothers

    There were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their ways from…
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    Y Zero K bug

    Message from: Rome January 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Knowing the Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers."Yes," he said. "I do.…
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    Cheap Suit

    The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the…
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    Friends Like That

    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we…
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    Corn Problem

    We were eating corn on the cob two weeks ago and my 5-year-old daughter Rachel seemed to…
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    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
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    Newlywed Grace

    A recently married man was walking with his father one day and said: "My new wife's…
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    Dog Meters

    Two dogs out and about, walk over to a parking meter.One says to the other, "How do you…
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    Dangerous Criminal

    One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she…
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    Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

    *Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick…
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    Goober 911

    Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!

picture of a car crash"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.  I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.  The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken.  Cause unknown.  Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

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