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More Jokes

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    Dependents

    A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he…
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    Vacation Location

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw…
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    All Pro Turkey

    The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey…
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    Supermarket Saavy

    One day my brother-in-law noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing a cart through the…
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    First Day Answer

    The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you…
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    Computer Customer Quotes

    "Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!" Customer: "I have…
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    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…
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    Creative Duelling

    In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor…
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    Blessed Be The Tie

    A guy walking in the desert desperately needed a drink. As he followed the dunes, he came…
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    Dangerous Cargo

    Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the…
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    Time Off

    Two men working in a factory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said…
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    Eat This Up

    Several American nurses were training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. These nurses…
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    Gifts for Men

    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules…
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    Self Defense

    During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the…

picture of a car crash"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.  I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.  The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken.  Cause unknown.  Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

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