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    Longevity

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
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    Dog Stop

    Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a…
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    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
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    The Perfect Church Design

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three month…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Left Behind

    "You just go ahead," the man in the shopping mall said to his wife. "While you're…
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    Real Newspaper Ads

    These are real ads from a newspaper. 1. 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850 or best offer 2.…
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    The Gift That Keeps On Giving

    This is a really long item, but well worth the read! The one present Roy Collette wasn't…
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    Hurry and Sign Up

    Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army…
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    Baseball Class

    A profesor at the University of Pennsylvania was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
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    Five Tech Replies

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…
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    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer*

    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer* 1. Well, it's…
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    Formal Letter

    At the end of last semester, a fellow student complained about how he failed the English…
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    Hiccup Cure

    A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something to cure…

picture of a car crash"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.  I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.  The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken.  Cause unknown.  Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

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