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    Officer Overboard

    On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do…
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    Cow Help

    A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car…
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    Valedictorian

    At the beginning of the school year, one seventh grader was reflecting on his chance at…
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    Romantic Switch

    Although he had packed his bag for a business trip the night before, my husband planned…
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    Microsoft TV Dinner

    Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing…
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    Stuck Between Floors

    Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the…
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    New Golfer

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
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    Children At The Dinner Party

    During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally…
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    Positive Start

    How to start your day with a positive outlook.1. Open a new file in your PC.2. Name it…
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    Out-of-Office Replies

    I don't know about you, but I find those "Out-of-the-Office" e-mail auto-replies very…
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    Arizona Rain

    A visitor once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?" A rancher quickly answered, "Yes,…
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    Airborne Recruiting

    After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could…
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    People and Mistakes

    People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes.People who do less work... make fewer…
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    Anti-Burglar Signs

    The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few…

picture of a car crash"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.  I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.  The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken.  Cause unknown.  Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

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