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  • parachute 82nd Airborne

    Airborne Recruiting

    After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could…
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    Sunday Service

    A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.After the…
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    Restroom Use Policy

    FROM: Human Resources DepartmentSUBJECT: Restroom Use PolicyIn the past, employees were…
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    Need a Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over…
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    Rabbi Schwartz Answers His Phone

    "Hello is this Rabbi Schwartz?" "It is" "This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I can." "Do…
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    Toilet Repair

    Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire…
  • father's day triplets

    Four Waiting Fathers

    Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were…
  • computer keyboard

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer: - You've backed-up your desktop by…
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    Gardening Help

    An old man living alone in South Armagh, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't…
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    Pastor's Golf Sunday

    There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be…
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    Reward Change

    A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her.…
  • police dog

    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
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    What's for Dinner?

    What's for dinner? Can't eat beef......mad cowCan't eat chicken...... bird fluCan't eat…
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    Senior Citizen Discount

    "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my…
  • factory

    20 Like You

    A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish…

picture of a car crash"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.  I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.  The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken.  Cause unknown.  Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

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