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More Jokes

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    Call For A Ride

    Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One…
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    Reasons Not To Wash

    If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to…
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    Utensil Rejection

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
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    Religious Lady On Plane

    There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so…
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    Coffee For Grandma

    A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee.…
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    Kids In Church

    Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church.…
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    Always Corrected

    Frustrated at always being corrected by my hubby, I decided the next time it happened I…
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    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…
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    Comprehending Engineers

    Take One A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly…
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    Driver's License Examiners

    While discussing the plight of Driver's license examiners, a former motor-vehicle-bureau…
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    The Perfect Man

    The finalist has been named in the worldwide search for the perfect man.After careful…
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    Five Steps to a Healthy Diet

    Five Steps to a Healthy DietThe Federal Drug and Food Administration is planning to issue…
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    More Cute Kids

    On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small…
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    Updated Punishment

    "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was…
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    Airline Announcements

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture"…

picture of a car crash"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.  I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.  The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken.  Cause unknown.  Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

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