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More Jokes

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    Flower Switch

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
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    Graduation Speech Notes

    When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from…
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    Ignored Phone

    The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it…
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    Waking Up Mad

    One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the…
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    Boris, Bill, & Bill

    Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During…
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    Goober at the River

    You can find a picture of a goober at…
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    Movie Night

    My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time…
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    Rejection Rejection

    Have you ever had a resume rejected? Don't ever let it happen again. The next time that…
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    Misbehaving Phone Call

    Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.Two days…
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    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of"yes/no" type…
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    Allleeeee Oooop

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    Houdini Wannabe

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    Great Cheese

    The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased with his meal that he asked to…
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    Security Tips

    The following are notices that homeowners can place in a few strategic locations to keep…
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    Sister Cheer Up

    My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening…

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you will want to be doing something else.

* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.

* Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary: If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

* Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is.

* Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.

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