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    Trooper Delivery

    One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto…
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    Country Boys

    These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it…
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    Why ask Why?

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Three Day Silence

    My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    Dirty Hands in Class

    A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty.She stopped him…
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    Proposal Condition

    Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. "Will you marry me,…
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    Zoo Trip

    Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his…
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    Rain or Shine

    It was raining quite hard as U.S. Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a…
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    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
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    Teachers About to Retire

    You know you're a retiree-to-be when... 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall…
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    Abe Lincoln's Age

    A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the…
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    Nervous Preacher

    A new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous and about ten minutes…
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    *Food Spoilage Tests For Bachelors*

    THE GAG TEST: Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you…

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you will want to be doing something else.

* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.

* Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary: If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

* Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is.

* Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.

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