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More Jokes

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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
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    Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

    1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down…
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    Shower Music

    "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the…
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    SPCA Rescue

    "Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?""Yes.""I…
  • picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar

    More Bumper Stickers

    * FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. * I can't dial 911.…
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    Incapacitated

    I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part…
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    Patio Problem

    My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement…
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    Isn't That Nice?

    Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
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    Happy Birthday Grandpa

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…
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    Computer Career

    Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My…
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    Get Your Own

    One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
  • baby feet

    Tiny Rose

    A tiny sweet baby was born to a goober and his wife. They had always dreamed of having a…
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    Babies at the Mall

    A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her…

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you will want to be doing something else.

* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.

* Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary: If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

* Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is.

* Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.

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