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More Jokes

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    Makeup Routine

    Every morning, a little girl would go in the bathroom to watch Mommy as she was putting…
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    Third Grade Assignment

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    New Duct Tape

    I was with my eldest son one day, driving around town in my old Toyota pickup, when…
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    Cow Horns

    "Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city on…
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    Flight Attendant Trivia

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…
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    Rewiring

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Forgetfulness

    While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The old…
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    Spelling Code

    A client called to report an accident and ask if her insurance rates would go up."Our…
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    New Year's Football vs. Dinner

    As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was…
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    Meet the Parents

    A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my…
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    And Then They Voted

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was…
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    Politcal Quotes

    "I resent your insinuendoes." "If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain…
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    Great Writer

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.…
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    Job Application

    This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food…
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    Life After Death

    "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir."…

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you will want to be doing something else.

* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.

* Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary: If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

* Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is.

* Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.

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