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More Jokes

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    Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

    Signs Your SUV Is Too Big~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the…
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    Welcome Home

    A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a…
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    Missed Call

    My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One…
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    Reasons Not To Wash

    If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to…
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    Crossing Lesson

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    Tried and Trusted

    A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to…
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    Died In The Service

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    The Verge

    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"One child…
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    Amish Bumper Sticker

    While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage with the following…
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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    Scavenger Hunt

    A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. "Ma'am," he…
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    Merchant Captain

    One of the world's most famous merchant captains died, having long been admired by his…
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    Missing Car Parts

    A goober calls 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is…
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    Key West Tourists

    I was a salesman and always wore a shirt and tie which made me stand out in Key West.…

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you will want to be doing something else.

* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.

* Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary: If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

* Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is.

* Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.

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