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    Goober Border Patrol

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:…
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    Let's See If I Get Anything

    My eldest daughter got married at the end of last summer and is now in the process of…
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    Taking Down The Flag

    My husband was serving his last few years of military service on active duty with an Army…
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    Little Tim's Goldfish

    Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    How does a home schooler change a light bulb?

    Q: How does a home schooler change a light bulb? A: First, mom checks three books on…
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    Mother And Child

    A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly…
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    Classmate Reunion

    While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed…
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    Y to K Problem

    Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through…
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    Frazzled Doctor

    As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place…
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    Sorting Letters

    Myrddin had gotten a part time job at the Post Office and the supervisor there had been…
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    The Vet and The Doc

    A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    Cruising

    These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.1. (For this one, you have…
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    Fan Help

    Although I have three sons, it was always my daughter who helped me with chores around…
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    Bank Arrangements

    Who knows if this is true. Just the same, it's funny!I am told that a 98-year-old woman…

To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!

Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

If your raid is going well, you're at the wrong house.

The one time you cuss on the radio, your Chief will be listening.

Anything that you do can get you shot - including doing nothing!

You will be decorated for stupidity, and busted for brilliant work.

Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never respond to a "domestic" with anyone braver than you.

No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes the Chief's idea.

New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.

Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.

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