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More One-liners

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

More Jokes

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    Size 8 Shoes

    A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well…
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    Flight Attendant Trivia

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…
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    Tourist Questions

    Here are some of the "All-Time Dumbest Questions" asked by Banff Park tourists. On…
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    Cleaning Job

    Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple.…
  • lincoln memorial

    Abe Lincoln's Age

    A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the…
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    No ID

    A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal…
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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
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    Halloween Pun

    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, in…
  • pinata

    Moving Label

    Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who…
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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
  • train engine

    Lost Ticket

    Albert Einstein was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on…
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    Mechanic Applicant

    A man is applying for a job as mechanic that he really wants to get.The boss says, "Can…
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    Dun in Texas

    A cowboy (named Julius?) rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink.…
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    Name The Twins

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.…
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    What is Marketing?

    What is Marketing?You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am…