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  • car w driver2

    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…
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    Wedding Speech

    Our nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the…
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    Friendship Poems

    Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never…
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    Prescription Check

    An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you…
  • horse snow

    Blizzard Police

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman,…
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    Bathroom Exasperation

    As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get…
  • phone2

    Mike's Girlfriend

    After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him --…
  • class room

    Tough Teacher

    A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of…
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    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
  • lincoln memorial

    Abe Lincoln's Age

    A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the…
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    Boris, Bill, & Bill

    Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During…
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    Prayer Positions

    Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman…
  • F 15 fighter jet

    Recruiting Crisis

    The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a…
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    Talking Clock

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way…
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    Test Crash

    As the test pilot climbed out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and…
  • Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
  • Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
  • You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  • One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
  • It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  • If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
  • I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
  • Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
  • Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
  • Age doesn't always bring wisdom.  Sometimes age comes alone.
  • Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
  • Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
  • Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
  • If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
  • You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
  • I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
  • Amazing!  You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.
  • It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
  • Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.
  • The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
  • Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
  • Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
  • Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?
  • Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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