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    Computer Customer Quotes

    "Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!" Customer: "I have…
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    Chicken Recovery

    A farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had…
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    Take Out For Lunch

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…
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    Prepared Chicken

    "May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"…
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    Nervous Young Minister

    A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will…
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    Parenting Tip

    Mary Siegel was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best…
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    Finkel's Fine

    A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, Hello, darling, I'd like to talk…
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    Special Delivery

    It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss…
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    Medical Term Needed

    The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he…
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    With Friends Like That...

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one…
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    Surgeon Feedback

    Surgeons invited to dinner parties are often asked to carve the meat -- or worse yet, to…
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    Sweat Dreams

    While on vacation with my son and his family, I shared a room with my 4 year old…
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    Scavenger Hunt

    A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. "Ma'am," he…
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    Ohio

    Apparently I tend to brag too much about my home state of Ohio.One day I told a…
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    Goober Puzzle

    One morning this goober calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me. I have…
  • Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
  • Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
  • You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  • One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
  • It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  • If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
  • I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
  • Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
  • Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
  • Age doesn't always bring wisdom.  Sometimes age comes alone.
  • Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
  • Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
  • Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
  • If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
  • You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
  • I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
  • Amazing!  You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.
  • It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
  • Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.
  • The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
  • Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
  • Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
  • Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?
  • Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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