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  • cooking

    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…
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    Lion Attack

    Two wildlife documentary film makers were filming a wild lion in Africa when they both…
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    Party Favor

    After classical violinist Fritz Kreisler was invited to a society party, the hostess…
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    Career Cooling

    Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My…
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    Exemplary Offspring

    Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring."There…
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    Zack and His Mule

    Zack and his mule were walking down the road when one of Zack's friends drove up and…
  • gas cap

    Lost Gas Cap

    David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven…
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    Hospital Regulations

    Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while…
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    Lost Over Washington State

    A helicopter was flying around above Washington State yesterday when an electrical…
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    Bachelor Cooking

    Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.…
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    Passing Pain

    An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good…
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    Audi Alteram Parten

    During a Law course class, the 'Audi Alteram Parten' rule was explained. Translated it…
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    Does That Hurt

    We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the…
  • Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
  • Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
  • You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  • One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
  • It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  • If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
  • I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
  • Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
  • Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
  • Age doesn't always bring wisdom.  Sometimes age comes alone.
  • Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
  • Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
  • Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
  • If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
  • You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
  • I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
  • Amazing!  You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.
  • It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
  • Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.
  • The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
  • Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
  • Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
  • Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?
  • Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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