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    Bump Start

    About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the…
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    Noise Abatement

    "Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise…
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    How Business Communications Work

    How Business Communications WorkMEMORANDUMFrom: Headquarters - New YorkTo: General…
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    Not For Lunch

    My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about…
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    Miracle Return

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the…
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    Computer Error

    I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Bob the computer guy, to come over.…
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    Smart As A Brick

    While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands…
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    Perfect Spouse

    A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse.…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Servicemen Foot Race

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
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    Light Confusion

    A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation.His mother, sitting in the…
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    Famous Last Words

    * Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.* Step back a bit, I can't get you in the…
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    Interview Bloopers

    Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were…
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    Space Pen

    During the space race of the 60's, NASA decided that they needed a ball point pen that…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
  • Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
  • Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
  • You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  • One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
  • It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  • If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
  • I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
  • Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
  • Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
  • Age doesn't always bring wisdom.  Sometimes age comes alone.
  • Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
  • Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
  • Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
  • If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
  • You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
  • I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
  • Amazing!  You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.
  • It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
  • Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.
  • The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
  • Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
  • Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
  • Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?
  • Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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