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    The Head Hog

    The secretary picked up the phone and heard a very "countryfied" voice on the other end…
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    A Touch of Home

    Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home…
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    Preacher's Donkey

    A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had…
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    First Salute

    The first salute received by a freshly commissioned Second Lieutenant is always…
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    Indiana Rainstorm

    After a hardy Indiana rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a…
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    Thanks

    A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an…
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    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    Spa First Day

    A woman joined a health spa, and on her first day eagerly joined in an exercise class.…
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    Baseball Class

    A professor at the Michigan State University was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
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    Honest Mechanic

    I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me…
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    Comments Never Heard at Church

    1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew. 2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed…
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    Goober Diagnosis

    A Goober felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examining him said, 'Well,…
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    Bat Delivery

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
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    Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

    10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.…

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence, "Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you coming."

On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!"

At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"

On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.  Socks can eat any place they want."

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