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More Jokes

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    Spelling Bee Confusing

    If GH can stand for P as in HiccoughIf OUGH stands for O as in DoughIf PHTH stands for T…
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    Tow Request

    The minister's car wouldn't start and so he called the garage to come and tow it in for…
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    Good Doctors

    A fellow was asked if there were any good doctors is his home town. "Good doctors!" he…
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    King of The Jungle

    The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure…
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    Happy Birthday Elsie

    I play pinochle regularly with seven other women, most of whom are 70 or older. Recently…
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    Hickbonics

    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless…
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    Getting Older

    Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
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    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
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    Friendly Pig

    A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask…
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    Goober Crossing

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

    Side Effects of a Life in Comedy* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller"…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
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    Cell Phone Flight Call

    En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane…
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    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence, "Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you coming."

On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!"

At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"

On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.  Socks can eat any place they want."

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