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More Jokes

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    Second Wave

    While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the…
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    Military Wisdom

    *Military Wisdom*"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you…
  • bush plane picture

    Goober Hunters Flying

    Two Goober hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were…
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    Think of a Number

    Think of a number.Multiply it by 3.Now add 5.Take away the number you first thought…
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    Forgotten Watch

    A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for…
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    Steeple Paint

    The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot…
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    Three Red Lights

    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Neither could barely see over the…
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    From British Newspapers

    1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman…
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    Watermelon Mistake

    Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to…
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    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Pastor's Golf Sunday

    There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be…
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    You Might be a Pastor If...

    ~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only…
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    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
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    Low 80's Golf

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence, "Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you coming."

On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!"

At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"

On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.  Socks can eat any place they want."

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