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  • showerhead

    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
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    Government Solution

    Thought you might and others might enjoy what happened to me (Tina and Tim Saltsman) the…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HYMNS AND PRAISE CHORUSES An old farmer went to the city one…
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    Lost Baggage

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage…
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    Toaster Oven

    One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she…
  • Picture of Newspaper

    Good News

    *Good News* The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. They say the house…
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    Bosses Night

    At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Montana, lawyers, sponsored by legal…
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    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Chicken Answers

    Before you get to today‚Äôs supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number…
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    Wake Up Call

    An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service…
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    Run Through the Woods

    Two campers, both in the 60s are walking through the woods. A huge brown bear suddenly…
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    Saintly Sons

    Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He…
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    Didn't See That Coming

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her…
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    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
  • canada flag

    Lost In Canada

    An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost on the prairie. After what…

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence, "Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you coming."

On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!"

At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"

On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.  Socks can eat any place they want."

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