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More Jokes

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    Strange 911 Calls

    *Strange 911 Calls*A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share…
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    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary

    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary:Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am…
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    Rainy Weather Humor

    Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain.…
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    Football Tryouts

    A football coach was asked how he picked a team from a bunch of raw recruits. "I hate to…
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    Goober Quotes

    I got some bad news today. You know the money you get from those ATM machines? It comes…
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    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    *Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline*You can't board the plane unless you have the…
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    Birth Wharp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Parenting Tip

    Mary Siegel was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best…
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    Appendix Worry

    Old Jacob Johnson, raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was…
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    What's Good Tonight?

    Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to…
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    2 Best Recipes

    Newlywed Wife: "The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie."Newlywed Husband:…
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    Comedians' Convention

    Someone brought a visitor and the new fellow sat fascinated as the funnymen shouted out…
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    Look Like Mom

    A two-and-a-half-year-old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on…
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    Live to 100

    When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of…
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    Order Debt

    A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great…

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence, "Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you coming."

On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!"

At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"

On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.  Socks can eat any place they want."

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