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More Jokes

  • bush plane picture

    Goober Hunters Flying

    Two Goober hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were…
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    Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Little Encouragement

    The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly…
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    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.""Would you spell that,…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Arm Injury

    The brilliant lawyer F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver against claims that his…
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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…
  • do not_disturb

    Do Not Disturb

    After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a…
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    Typo Apology

    "We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
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    First Job Hunting

    Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a horse with him to add to…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
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    Police Pastor

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Ugly Baby

    A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've…

Here are some more strange warnings on items.

On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters.  Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

Seen on a camera:
"This camera only works when there is film inside."

On a bottle of flavored milk drink:
"After opening, keep upright."

On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

On a can of insect spray:
"Kills all kinds of insects!  Warning: this spray is harmful to bees."

A different brand of insect spray:
"Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges, and other flying insects.
Not tested on animals."

On an ocean buoy for determining the position of submarines:
"Protect from seawater."

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