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More Jokes

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    What He Says - What He Means

    What He Says - What He Means"I'm going fishing."Really means: "I'm going to stand by a…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 2

    6. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss…
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    Doctor's Orders

    Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous…
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    Jury Age

    Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice.…
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    Chair Test

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Finkel's Fine

    A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, Hello, darling, I'd like to talk…
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    Size 8 Shoes

    A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well…
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    Sermon Comment

    After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying…
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    Job Impressions

    I had always talked about my job a lot at home, and my young daughter had always…
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    Yard Sale Anger

    A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the…
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    Some Things You Can't Escape

    A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape was the lead item on the six…
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    Winter House

    We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was…
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    Words to Ponder

    *Words to Ponder* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. I'd kill…
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    How You Can Tell It's Going to Be a Rotten Day

    -You wake up face down on the pavement. -You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on…
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    Airline Rage

    As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next…

Here are some more strange warnings on items.

On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters.  Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

Seen on a camera:
"This camera only works when there is film inside."

On a bottle of flavored milk drink:
"After opening, keep upright."

On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

On a can of insect spray:
"Kills all kinds of insects!  Warning: this spray is harmful to bees."

A different brand of insect spray:
"Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges, and other flying insects.
Not tested on animals."

On an ocean buoy for determining the position of submarines:
"Protect from seawater."

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