More Jokes

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    Top Ten Best Golf Caddie Remarks

    #10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep…
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    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
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    Military Man

    A career military man, who had retired as a Master Sergeant, was telling the new recruits…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    Photo Radar

    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed…
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    Coffee Delivery

    The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the…
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    Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

    One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog…
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    Weight Report

    A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.One day while…
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    Third Grade Assignment

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Most Famous Man

    A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one…
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    Things Mom Doesn't Want To Hear

    "Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"1. I swallowed the goldfish.2. Your…
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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    And Then They Voted

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was…
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    Quotes From 11 Year-Olds' Science Exams

    The following are all quotes from 11 year-olds' science exams:"Water is composed of two…
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    Rest Stop

    I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a…

Here are some more strange warnings on items.

On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters.  Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

Seen on a camera:
"This camera only works when there is film inside."

On a bottle of flavored milk drink:
"After opening, keep upright."

On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

On a can of insect spray:
"Kills all kinds of insects!  Warning: this spray is harmful to bees."

A different brand of insect spray:
"Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges, and other flying insects.
Not tested on animals."

On an ocean buoy for determining the position of submarines:
"Protect from seawater."

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