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More Jokes

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    Eating Out

    Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches…
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    Deacon's Minutes

    The newly elected secretary for the Deacon Board at church submitted this report:October…
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    New Boots

    My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The…
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    New Home No Hears

    Top ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to…
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    Wedding Speech

    Our nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the…
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    Cereal Adjustment

    Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now…
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    Green Side Up

    A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.…
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    New Medical Technology

    A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several…
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    Ship Movie

    On many U.S. Navy ships the movie screen is suspended amid-ship so that it can be viewed…
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    High School Record

    Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach, Mr. Carlier. Walking…
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    Water Pistol

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
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    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
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    Landing in the Fog

    An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically…
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    It Sure Is

    An elderly couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband…
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    Ecumenical Small Talk

    My Protestant clergy friend was speaking with a Catholic priest and wanted to make a…

* Ever Wondered Why ....????

If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

If pro is the opposite of con, then is progress the opposite of congress?

If it's Zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be Twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do scientists call it "re"search when looking for something new?

Why is it called a building when it is already built?

If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

Why is hamburger called hamburger, when it is made out of beef not ham?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?

Why is it when someone eats something that tastes bad they say "Aw, this tastes gross!" and turn to you and say "Try it!" Why would I want to try it, if they already told me what it tastes like?

How do you know when invisible ink pens run out of ink?

If you drop a chameleon in water, will it turn clear?

Why do they call it a Leap Year if you ADD another day rather than subtracting one?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do your feet smell, and your nose run?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

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