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    What He Says - What He Means

    What He Says - What He Means"I'm going fishing."Really means: "I'm going to stand by a…
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    Last One Comeback

    A widow, recently married to a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked,…
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    Duelling Judges

    Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in…
  • picture of project documents

    Dictionary of Project Terms

    *Dictionary of Project Terms* Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen…
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    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
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    Windshield Wiper Quit

    Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right -- the driver's side. This…
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    Matching Shoes

    John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 2

    6. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss…
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    Miracle Toddler Diet

    Miracle Toddler DietLosing weight is the number New Year's Resolution.The problem is,…
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    Unknown Reindeer

    The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the…
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    Are You The Defendant?

    The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?""No sir,…
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    Universal Solvent

    "The father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
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    Coffee Delay

    In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…

You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You just completed another sweater... and you don't know how to knit!

You answer the door before people knock.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

You ski uphill.

You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

You name your dog "Valdez"

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You lick your coffeepot clean!

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