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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
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    Dial A Prayer Twist

    They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but…
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    Sore Mover

    Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving…
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    Chicken Answers

    Before you get to today’s supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number…
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    Brother Review

    Arriving for a visit, a woman asked her small grand daughter, "How do you like your new…
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    Mom's Time Out

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was…
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    Deputy Goober

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Politically Correct Cat Terms

    Politically correct terms for cat owners: - My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a…
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    Flight Fear

    Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting…
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    Stolen Turkey

    Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I…
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    Translated Golf

    An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening…
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    Address Change

    My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas…
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    Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children

    Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.…
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    Goober Mom Writes Goober Son

    Dear Son, I am writing slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we…
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    Women Drivers

    (Don't judge a joke by its title.) Driving to town this morning on the Interstate, I…

You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You just completed another sweater... and you don't know how to knit!

You answer the door before people knock.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

You ski uphill.

You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

You name your dog "Valdez"

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You lick your coffeepot clean!

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