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More Too Much Coffee

You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You just completed another sweater... and you don't know how to knit!

You answer the door before people knock.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

You ski uphill.

You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

You name your dog "Valdez"

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You lick your coffeepot clean!

More Jokes

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    Slow-Driving Grandma

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
  • bicycle

    Black Canyon Biker

    A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got…
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    Analogies and Metaphors

    These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had…
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    Game Question

    The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded…
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    Looking For Mike

    After directory assistance gave Glenda her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed…
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    First Day Answer

    The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb

    Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Such number as may be deemed…
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    Goober Love Poem

    Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.…
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    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…
  • An historic tour company dressed their employees in colonial dress.

    Colonial Break

    A company offered tours through the historic district, led by guides dressed in Colonial…
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    Goober In Library

    A goober walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last…
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    The Good Old Days

    Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and…
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    That's It

    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece…
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    Chewed Out

    My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that…