More Jokes

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    Mad Cow Conversation

    Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard…
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    Typing Test

    A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have…
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    Pain Cause

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
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    Bathroom Instructions

    On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the…
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    Letter Order

    Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Txes M&A Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the…
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    More Strange Warnings

    Here are some more strange warnings on items.On a packet of juggling balls:"This product…
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    Stupid Inventions

    Stupid Inventions: - Black Highlighter - Braille Driver's Manual - Clear Correction Fluid…
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    Pilot Humor

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints generally known as squawks or problems…
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    911 Sees All

    Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of…
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    Parts Search

    I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his…
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    Flower System

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his…
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    Overdue at the Movies

    Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony…
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    Eye Test

    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the…
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    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…

You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You just completed another sweater... and you don't know how to knit!

You answer the door before people knock.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

You ski uphill.

You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

You name your dog "Valdez"

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You lick your coffeepot clean!

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