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More Jokes

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    Clothes Hamper

    I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.He looked…
  • childrens hands

    Starting Over

    The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have…
  • picture of university building

    How To Write A College Paper

    How to write a College Paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted…
  • high tea

    Two Teas

    1st customer: I'll have tea. 2nd customer: Me, too. And be sure the cup is clean! (The…
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    Husband Chair Feedback

    A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies'…
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    Helping Mom

    A little while after my mother was widowed, it became apparent that she was unable to…
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    Teaching Math

    Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging…
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    First Case Tried

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so…
  • police pull over

    Speedy Comeback

    The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his…
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    Why Are You Here?

    A man dressed as napoleon went to see a psychiatrist at the urging of his wife. "What's…
  • Race horses talking in the stable

    Race Horses in a Stable

    Some race horses are staying in a stable when one of them starts to boast about his track…
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    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
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    Hacker Safety

    The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.He tried three times to…
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    SPCA Rescue

    "Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?""Yes.""I…
  • doctor4

    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…

You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You just completed another sweater... and you don't know how to knit!

You answer the door before people knock.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

You ski uphill.

You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

You name your dog "Valdez"

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You lick your coffeepot clean!

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