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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Plus or Minus One

    In a contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a…
  • store sign

    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
  • wedding rings

    Newlywed Grace

    A recently married man was walking with his father one day and said: "My new wife's…
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    Verbalized Prayers

    The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would…
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    One-liners

    1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.2. Make yourself at home! Clean my…
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    Neighborhood Explosion

    The whole neighborhood shook from the explosion. As shopkeepers ran outside to see what…
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    First Day Answer

    The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you…
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    Plane Pontoons

    Tiring of the inconvenience of the drive from airport to country cottage, a man equipped…
  • chickens

    Prepared Chicken

    "May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"…
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    It Might Be Cleaner

    After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled,…
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    Poor Preacher

    After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give…
  • business timing

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

    So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh,…
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    2503 Years Old

    A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in Latin America,…

The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Johnson will be setting the pace on our morning run."

With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Johnson was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Johnson will be driving a truck."

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